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Monday, November 06, 2006

"News" - Old Country Press Conference Descends To Humbling

Taken from the Old Country Times, November 5th.

"Two Holidays and A Humbling"
By B.Blair
Humbledonshire, Sheikyton

The reclusive Old Country Minister of Holidays Fuuuuuu~! made a rare appearance today to perform the traditional ceremony of holiday proclamation to announce two new holidays to the masses.

The first of the holidays was "Sweedish Chef Day" which is on 14th May. The Sweedish Chef himself joined the Old Country Nomad and made the following statement:

"I em su heppy tu be-a immurteleesed by zee Oold Cuoontry Meenister ooff Huleedeys Foooooooooooo~! veet thees huleedey. I prumeese-a tu meke-a soore-a thet zee vunders ooff cuukeeng ere-a nefer lust. Bork Bork Bork!"

The crowd applauded but the look of confusion was present to be seen.

The second of the holidays is to be known as "Old Country Giant Party of Raspact Our Humbel Day" which takes place on 15th March. The legend himself, the Iron Shiek made a speech to the masses.

"Halo all my great wrassling fans in Humbletonshire, yeah! I am zo happy to be ear, yeah! I would like to zeh dis...Iron Sheik nambur von, USA ach-tooy!"

At this point, Shieky as he is known as in Sheikyton spotted something and left the stage. It was me, for those who don't know the Iron Shiek has always had a dream. A dream that one day he wanted to achieve. What follows is an excerpt from his autobiography "Medicine"

"That punk Brian Blair...i would like to zeh dis to im. Brian Blair, you are punk, you are fag, little gay, vorse than Hulk Hogaan. Suplex him, put him the da camel clutch, break his back and ten fuck his ass make him humble zo he respaect Iron Sheik"

Sheiky then proceeded to storm the press box, drag me down the stairs and perform the deed. All i will say is this...i....have been humbled in the Old Country Way.


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