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Sunday, January 07, 2007

WWE New Year's Revolution PPV Review

Welcome everybody to the Nomadic review of WWE New Year's Revolution 2007. I must warn everybody the time here currently is 3.56am and i have been awake since 6.30am yesterday so if you can't understand something or if you wish to complain...fuck off!

Intercontinental Championship Cage Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Why was this the opener? Couldn't we have had Carlito vs. Masters here instead of one of the title matches? The first thing i noted was: has Melina had more surgery or is she wearing a push up bra? Unusual thought when you are about to watch a cage match but they were noticeable different so i thought they were worth a mention. Jeff Hardy has now perfected his special dance which consists of him coming out and having a spasm for about 30 seconds on the stage before considering making his way to the ring.

Prior to the match starting, JR threw out a comment about Joey Mercury which i am hoping means this match was the beginning of some kind of build to a Hardy Boyz vs. MNM Ladder of Death match at Wrestlemania 23 where the only way to win is to maim your opponents face's using the ladder. Of course, a regular ladder match would be great too.

The first few minutes of this match were very sloppy to say the least, Nitro fucked up a body slam and somehow Jeff Hardy managed to almost land on his own head doing a dropkick from the top rope. However as the match wore on, things started to become better. Johnny Nitro had obviously been summoning Anderson Silva as he decided he wanted to knee the fuck out of Jeff's face while he was up against the cage. This was preceded by a very nice springboard sidekick to Jeff which did not result in Nitro landing on his own head.

For some reason, throughout this and the other matches the crowd were almost silent. Even when Johnny Nitro performed what could have been suicide in the form of a sunset flip into a powerbomb from the top of the cage, they cheered for a second and then went deathly silent. Melina on the other hand needs to learn to not fucking screech like someone on fire.

The finish came around when Nitro was scaling the cage and Jeff was trying to get out of the door but Melina was halting the referee from opening the door. So after about 30 second, Nitro was hanging just above the door and the referee had got Melina out of the way, Jeff had a genius moment and dropkicked the door open, crotching Nitro which allowed Jeff to crawl out the door and retain the title.

Good opener but the lack of crowd participation hurt it slightly.

Todd Grisham then interviewed Rated RKO which basically consisted of them saying they were going to kill DX tonight.

"Bonus" Match
Tag Team Turmoil with the winners getting a World Tag Team Title shot
Highlanders vs. World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Super Crazy vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme.

THIS SUCKED! I was so bored during the entire match, the only things that amused me were: 1. Watching the Highlanders slap each other to tag in
2. Trying to work out how Jim Duggan and Super Crazy were paired together.
3. Laughing at Trevor Murdoch doing a Homicid-esce Yakuza kick.

Anyway here is how the match broke down:
Highlanders lost to WGTT
Hacksaw and Super Crazy lost to WGTT
WGTT lost to Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch lost to Cryme Tyme.

There we have it, Cryme Tyme get a title shot. Whoopie!

Next was a backstage skit with Vince and Jonathan Coachman talking about Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell of all people and how their recent events could have come straight from WWE. So Vince in his wisdom signed for tomorrow night on Raw: Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Ric Flair

This was the battle of the robes to start: Kenny coming to the ring in a boxing jacket with added feathers while Flair came out in a robe that even Razor Ramon HG would be proud of...it was nuclear pink. The match itself got off to a fast start with both men exchanging moves and Kenny stopping every now and again to mock Flair. During this match, Rocky Balboa got the Jerry Lawler stamp of approval for no apparent reason. Flair went for his trademark climb to the top rope only to be thrown off. I think there is more chance of Vince Russo realising he writes shit than Flair making this move more than once a year. The finish came around after Flair had endured a figure four from Kenny which he had rolled into a pinning combination and decided to apply a figure four of his own to young Kenny complete with bitchslaps~! This submission was broken up and while the ref was trying to control Flair, Kenny got a low blow in and pinned him for the bullshit finish. So i guess this feud is carrying on for a bit then.

Next up we saw a broken Johnny Nitro with Melina cursing over his loss of Jeff Hardy earlier in the night. Melina leave Nitro on his own and runs into Victoria who after freaking her out a bit makes her a deal: if she helps Victoria win the Women's Championship, she gets the first shot at the belt. Melina agrees to have a think about it while Victoria heads to the ring.

WWE Women's Championship Match
Mickie James vs. Victoria

Finally, a women's title match with some kind of a build. Both divas were smoking hot tonight and the in ring action was actually not to bad at all. I think i have been subjected to far too many shit diva matches to remember how great some of the best ones were. At one point, Mickie had dispensed of the wrestling and decided she was going to try the Takanori Gomi method which is simply punch fuck out of your opponent until they have had enough. Melina did make an appearance in an attempt to distract Mickie but she was cut off by Candice and the lovely Maria who i think was out in her lingerie; either way i ain't complaining. Victoria went for the Widow's Peak which Mickie reversed into a DDT for the win.

Fine little match with a finish that made sense.

World Tag Team Championship Match
Rated RKO vs. DX

DX jump started the match as Rated RKO made their way down the ramp and brawled on the floor for five minutes before getting in the ring and starting proper. I must note there was much suplexing but nothing else occurred. Very early on in the match, both HBK and Edge speared the ring posts which provided great comedy. This was not a good match for HBK in the early stages as he attempted to deliver a legdrop on Orton on the apron and instead hit his shoulder instead of his head.

Some time around here, Randy Orton is bust open hardway which must've have occured when himself and HBK decided also to use the Takanori Gomi system and punch fuck out of each other for a few minutes.

Things did improve with HBK taking to the skies and almost being dropped by Orton on the outside but to his credit, it was recovered well. Shortly after, HBK was hit with a championship belt and the blood began to pour. Once back in the ring, HHH got the hot tag and this is where the match took a turn. HHH delivered a regular spinebuster to Edge but his knee gave way and immediately the referee threw up the X and HHH was in agony. Just a few minutes ago, WWE.com released an update telling us that HHH will be flown tomorrow morning to Birmingham, Ala to get it checked out. The preliminary diagnoses is a quadriceps tear.

To his credit, he carried on with the match as best he could. However, i get the feeling that Randy Orton had no idea what was going on as after Edge missed a spear on HHH, he ran in with a chair with the intention of hitting him, stopped and then ran back out. Shortly after this the referee is knocked out and all hell breaks loose as the match is thrown out but DX got their revenge by first turning Rated RKO into mush using steel chairs and then placing each member on a seperate table and Pedigreeing/Elbow drop them through the tables. At which point, Randy Orton had been bleeding horribly and looked like he could pass out at any moment.

So the fans got what they wanted but as HHH was taken to the back by the doctor, i could not help but worry for HHH.

Todd Grisham interviewed John Cena who first of all went into the 1980's and pulled out some quotes and then proceeded to say he was here to kick Umaga's ass.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

SHIT! Masters won. Next!

WWE Championship Match
Title vs. Streak
John Cena vs. Umaga

So this is it, after weeks of build this is the match we have been waiting for. Cena was way over in the arena but Umaga did have his fans as well including myself. The opening minutes of the match consisted of Cena throwing everything he had at Umaga and nothing shifting him. After a while Umaga got bored and tossed Cena outside the ring where he then proceeded to fly through the air in a Samoa Joe-esce manner into Cena. More Joe-esce stuff was shown by Umaga through the use of some brutal clotheslines that are going to leave a mark. I love strong style wrestling so at this point, i was in heaven watching Umaga whale on Cena.

But i knew the party had to end some time and Cena did have a couple of brief comebacks where he attempted the FU but could not get Umaga up and dropped him. My favourite moment of the match was when Cena attempted a crossbody off the top rope and Umaga caught him and delivered a BLACK HOLE SLAM~! to which the announcers were stunned and could not describe what they had just seen. Cena got his second wind after avoiding the Samoan Spike and planting Umaga on the post where he suplexed him and went straight into the 5 knuckle shuffle. Once again, Cena went for the FU and again Umaga got free only to throw Cena into the corner setting him up for the running ass slam as i call it.

But it was not to be as Cena kicked Umaga in the stomach and before you could say Vince Russo, Cena rolled him up for the 3 count. This match was fucking great and i hope just because there was a clean finish, this is not the last meeting of these two as i could watch them go all day. The 8 month winning streak of Umaga is gone and Cena is still the WWE Champion.

Overall, i would say the PPV was an average one as the main event was great but not enough to out balance the mediocre stuff. I hope you have enjoyed reading this review and if you have anything to say about the article, please leave a comment or contact me via email.

I'm off to bed now so thank you and goodnight!

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Blogger Old Country Caretaker said...

I loved your review of the Masters/Carlito match.

1/08/2007 12:02 AM  

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