The Ultimate Fighter Season 5 Ep.3 Review
I'm back again for Episode 3 of the wackiest show on TV~!
This week we begin with a quick recap of the last two weeks craziness and it reminded me how lucky i am getting to review this show every week while others like Casey get TNA Impact. We get the usual replay of last weeks preliminary fight between Manny and Noah and once again it showed that Noah got HUMBLED by Manny. Also, what a pretty kimura that was!
We cut to a shot of BJ walking around the training center and he is pissed off at the current state of things. So far Team Pulver has won both the preliminary fights and therefore has control over who fights who. Burger King's newest representative Gabe got himself weighed and...HE IS STILL 20LBS OVERWEIGHT! How is this possible when you have been training with one of the top fighters in UFC? But Gabe has a solution...a colonic. He pitches the idea to BJ and he says that he needs to talk to Dana White about this. So he did and Dana being the awesome person he is said he will hook him up with a colonic. My only question at this point was: will Dana be performing the colonic in his bathroom with a piece of garden hose?
Team Pulver present Manny with the UFC Ghetto Championship belt and it was at this point i noticed that everyone on Team Pulver has such great team chemistry and i cannot see this changing any time soon. Nate is beginning to get stir crazy as he wants to fight really bad, i really don't want to hate you Nate.
We head back to the training center for a Team Penn training session and BJ rants on Gabe's lack of...well anything really. It was at this point Tony DeSouza needed to speak and begins to question Gabe's determination and hunger to win the UFC contract. Tony says that he is more concerned with getting a tube shoved up his ass than training. It's the FUCK GABE SHOW~!
Team Pulver has their training session next and this was basically when the show became the greatest thing i have ever seen. Corey explains that now he has two personalities: Good Corey and Bad Corey. At this point, we cut to a shot of Gabe going on a cuss fest throwing out many many words and getting in the face of his team mates shouting obscenities at them in a wacky manner. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corey then HUMBLES a training bag on the ground by throwing down hammerfists and elbows and then trains with a bar weight. We cut to a shot of all the guys training and Corey is shown hitting the mat shouting "I FEEL GREAT~!" Also he wants to kill Gabe. COREY NUMBER VON!
Dana White then explains to us that guest coaches are back this season and will be coming in from time to time to help out at training sessions. Team Pulver got the first guest coach of the season and it was....Jeremy Horn! Nate and some of the others guys were showed singing the praises of Mr. Horn...except Corey. The reason for this was that at home, Corey does not have cable and therefore does not know who the fighters are. Immediately Jeremy expresses great excitement over Corey and asks him what gym he is in, Corey responds with "I dunno, i'm not in a gym". Jeremy asks where Corey lives. Corey replies with Colorado Springs and Jeremy smiles and says "I'm in Salt Lake!" Me thinks that you will be seeing a certain Corey in Jeremy's gym in the very near future.
After this, Corey says that no one can defeat him and sings a song: "This is my home, this is my zone, nobody comes in my home or my zone" ROTFLOL.
And now the most cringe worthy segment of the season so far. Gabe goes to Healing Waters for his colonic and meets with his shit slurpee....technician. Dennis Dodd was not involved in this show, it was a woman. At one point, she says that she is looking for a "mudslide" and says that if she sees one she knows that Gabe has a healthy colon. Lovely. So after this, Gabe returns to the training center and everybody is pissed that he missed the morning's training to have a tube shoved up his ass.
Back at the house, high jinks are afoot with two of Team Pulver decide to run around the house and garden either naked or wearing a very small thong. GAY!
FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT~!
No tricks this week as the fight is annouced as Nate vs. Rob. For whatever reason, they aired a "highlight" reel of Nick Diaz, seriously i'm willing to give Nate a chance so don't fuck it up. Rob obviously enjoyed the tag fest last week in the house and begins to tag 209 on everything he can as that is the area code where he comes from. Some members of Team Penn make a ghetto basketball ring out of a laundry basket and tank tap. Yay!
WEIGH IN TIME!
Rob and Nate both weigh in at 156lbs. A weight that Gabe can only dream of. Dana proclaims that he is looking forward to this fight as i'm i. We then get clips of both Nate and Rob talking trash.
"And now IT'S TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR OUR UFC MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!" Bruce why are you here? "I have to pay for the astroglide somehow." Wow, thanks for that Bruce.
Tale of the tape
Rob Emerson: 25, 5'8", 71" Reach, 8-6 MMA record
Nate Diaz: 21, 6', 73" Reach, 5-2 MMA record
Herb Dean is our referee and we are off with round one~!
Round one was basically the Nate Diaz show. He is nothing like his brother, THANK THE ALLMIGHTY! He knows how to punch and kick without looking like a fucking retard. Rob does get some offence but for me, Nate got this round by landing more shots. Nothing much happens in round two until the last 15 seconds when Nate got Rob on the ground and sinched in a tight near naked choke and Rob had no choice but to tap.
Winner - Nate Diaz R2 4.45 via submission (Rear Naked Choke)
That makes the Penn vs. Pulver score.
BJ Penn 0 - Jens Pulver 3
We get a shot of Rob's face and it is fucked up really bad.
Once again, everybody needs to see this show and if you missed the first two: GO BACK AND WATCH THEM!
This week we begin with a quick recap of the last two weeks craziness and it reminded me how lucky i am getting to review this show every week while others like Casey get TNA Impact. We get the usual replay of last weeks preliminary fight between Manny and Noah and once again it showed that Noah got HUMBLED by Manny. Also, what a pretty kimura that was!
We cut to a shot of BJ walking around the training center and he is pissed off at the current state of things. So far Team Pulver has won both the preliminary fights and therefore has control over who fights who. Burger King's newest representative Gabe got himself weighed and...HE IS STILL 20LBS OVERWEIGHT! How is this possible when you have been training with one of the top fighters in UFC? But Gabe has a solution...a colonic. He pitches the idea to BJ and he says that he needs to talk to Dana White about this. So he did and Dana being the awesome person he is said he will hook him up with a colonic. My only question at this point was: will Dana be performing the colonic in his bathroom with a piece of garden hose?
Team Pulver present Manny with the UFC Ghetto Championship belt and it was at this point i noticed that everyone on Team Pulver has such great team chemistry and i cannot see this changing any time soon. Nate is beginning to get stir crazy as he wants to fight really bad, i really don't want to hate you Nate.
We head back to the training center for a Team Penn training session and BJ rants on Gabe's lack of...well anything really. It was at this point Tony DeSouza needed to speak and begins to question Gabe's determination and hunger to win the UFC contract. Tony says that he is more concerned with getting a tube shoved up his ass than training. It's the FUCK GABE SHOW~!
Team Pulver has their training session next and this was basically when the show became the greatest thing i have ever seen. Corey explains that now he has two personalities: Good Corey and Bad Corey. At this point, we cut to a shot of Gabe going on a cuss fest throwing out many many words and getting in the face of his team mates shouting obscenities at them in a wacky manner. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corey then HUMBLES a training bag on the ground by throwing down hammerfists and elbows and then trains with a bar weight. We cut to a shot of all the guys training and Corey is shown hitting the mat shouting "I FEEL GREAT~!" Also he wants to kill Gabe. COREY NUMBER VON!
Dana White then explains to us that guest coaches are back this season and will be coming in from time to time to help out at training sessions. Team Pulver got the first guest coach of the season and it was....Jeremy Horn! Nate and some of the others guys were showed singing the praises of Mr. Horn...except Corey. The reason for this was that at home, Corey does not have cable and therefore does not know who the fighters are. Immediately Jeremy expresses great excitement over Corey and asks him what gym he is in, Corey responds with "I dunno, i'm not in a gym". Jeremy asks where Corey lives. Corey replies with Colorado Springs and Jeremy smiles and says "I'm in Salt Lake!" Me thinks that you will be seeing a certain Corey in Jeremy's gym in the very near future.
After this, Corey says that no one can defeat him and sings a song: "This is my home, this is my zone, nobody comes in my home or my zone" ROTFLOL.
And now the most cringe worthy segment of the season so far. Gabe goes to Healing Waters for his colonic and meets with his shit slurpee....technician. Dennis Dodd was not involved in this show, it was a woman. At one point, she says that she is looking for a "mudslide" and says that if she sees one she knows that Gabe has a healthy colon. Lovely. So after this, Gabe returns to the training center and everybody is pissed that he missed the morning's training to have a tube shoved up his ass.
Back at the house, high jinks are afoot with two of Team Pulver decide to run around the house and garden either naked or wearing a very small thong. GAY!
FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT~!
No tricks this week as the fight is annouced as Nate vs. Rob. For whatever reason, they aired a "highlight" reel of Nick Diaz, seriously i'm willing to give Nate a chance so don't fuck it up. Rob obviously enjoyed the tag fest last week in the house and begins to tag 209 on everything he can as that is the area code where he comes from. Some members of Team Penn make a ghetto basketball ring out of a laundry basket and tank tap. Yay!
WEIGH IN TIME!
Rob and Nate both weigh in at 156lbs. A weight that Gabe can only dream of. Dana proclaims that he is looking forward to this fight as i'm i. We then get clips of both Nate and Rob talking trash.
"And now IT'S TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR OUR UFC MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!" Bruce why are you here? "I have to pay for the astroglide somehow." Wow, thanks for that Bruce.
Tale of the tape
Rob Emerson: 25, 5'8", 71" Reach, 8-6 MMA record
Nate Diaz: 21, 6', 73" Reach, 5-2 MMA record
Herb Dean is our referee and we are off with round one~!
Round one was basically the Nate Diaz show. He is nothing like his brother, THANK THE ALLMIGHTY! He knows how to punch and kick without looking like a fucking retard. Rob does get some offence but for me, Nate got this round by landing more shots. Nothing much happens in round two until the last 15 seconds when Nate got Rob on the ground and sinched in a tight near naked choke and Rob had no choice but to tap.
Winner - Nate Diaz R2 4.45 via submission (Rear Naked Choke)
That makes the Penn vs. Pulver score.
BJ Penn 0 - Jens Pulver 3
We get a shot of Rob's face and it is fucked up really bad.
Once again, everybody needs to see this show and if you missed the first two: GO BACK AND WATCH THEM!
Labels: Mixed Martial Arts, OCC Television Coverage, The Ultimate Fighter, UFC
posted by Euan Taylor at 4/24/2007 08:53:00 AM
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