TNA iMPACT 09/21/2006

Post #499 for your Old Country Caretaker.

This is TNA, the new face of Professional wrestling. This is your new face of professional wrestling on drugs (hire Vince Russo~!) any questions?

We saw a recap video of last week. I almost said highlights but lets not kid ourselves.

Rhino cuts a promo! Monty cuts one to and Christian interrupts.

Its the opening and:

• Jeff Jarrett and his music are headed out to the ring. I still don't know what Samoa Joe's motivation for this match is, I mean is he doing this because Jim Cornette asked him to or does he get a favor in return?
  
  Oh well, with Russo coming back it will all be forgotten. Speaking of Cornette, he's got to be on the verge of killing.
  
  "Welcome to Jarrett's special victims unit" - I wonder if there's a law and order rerun on right now?
  "I've been a victim of bad TNA management" - there's a lot of truth in part of that statement.
  
  Jarrett threatens bad things for Samoa Joe and Sting at Bound for Glory. Jarrett is looking for his first special victim tonight. Perhaps he should check the short bus on its way to school?
  
  
• Samoa Joe's music hits and after a brief flurry Joe throws Jarrett around the iMPACT zone.
  
  Don West is talking of how TNA is cutting edge. I'll say they're breaking new ground in insomnia cures every Thursday night. Jarrett cracks a guitar over Joe's head and has the upper hand, what do you mean you're not shocked?
  
  Christy hypes LAX and their celebration of Hispanic heritage month, well nothing like getting an early start.
  
  Commercial time!
  
  Good Fellas is on Spike, rest assured I'd rather watch that than iMPACT.
  
  
• Hype video for Styles/Daniels Vs. LAX. I enjoy the feud, but I may be one of the few.
  
  
• Petey Williams heads to the ring to wrestle Jay Lethal.
  Wo, wo, wo, a 1-on-1 match in the X-division. Where are the other 4 guys for me not to care about?
  
  Lame dueling chants for Lethal and Peety. I'm sorry but its hard for me to take someone as a threat when his name is Petey.
  
  Mike Tenay says "Bowling for balls" and a chill runs up and down my spine. Lethal wins, not that winners and losers matter in this company.
  
  
• A triple Main Event at No Surrender, oh yeah so far we've got 5 announced matches. Everyone's a main eventer this night.
  
  
• I hate Jeff Jarrett video package. I wish I had sent in a video I could've done something wacky I'm sure.
  
  Commercial Time!
  
  Its Godfather the game and its not pimpin hoes nation wide.
  
  Its raining so that's your explanation if you've read my stuff today and said to yourself, he's really in a good mood.
  
  Fight Night Live Commercial. No Surrender commercial, guess what I want to see more?
  
  
• Senshi promo interrupted by Sabin. Did Sabin just show a personality? Na, its probably just that I'm tired.
  
  
• Eric Young Vs. Norman Smiley
  Ok, I confess I am a fan of Young's hometown.
  West is watching Young's tights, I'm staring at the floor. I think he is more excited than I.
  Sting DVD promo, too bad WWE has all the good stuff.
  
  Naturals have to win the battle royal or the experiment is over. I hope they lose.
  
  Match 6: Raven Vs. Abyss Vs. Runt.
  
  Some silliness with a video tape as I don't pay attention to the match, Young is victorious.
  
  
• Borash is with Shane Douglas.
  The tag team in TNA is the toughest in the entire business....to watch maybe.
  
  He's Eric Young looking for Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett is kind of like Poochy from the Simpsons.
  
  Rhino Vs. Brown is next but later apparently, LAX is going to eat. That'll bring ratings for sure. What will Homicide have for lunch? Will Hernandez go for seconds, will Konnan use BBQ sauce or Sweet N' Sour for his chicken nuggets? Stay tuned to iMPACT to find out.
  
  Commercial time!
  
  
• Eric Young's tape is played. He's searching out Sting, doesn't he know that's Alex Shelley's gimmick? Wasn't he afraid of Sting a few months ago? I've got to stop remembering things that wrestling companies forget because it just frustrates me.
  
  
• Monty Brown Vs. Rhino Falls count anywhere. Given this is TNA this probably means first man off his feet loses.
  
  We waste no time getting this match started. Hey, these 2 wrestled to a double count out at Victory Road thus kind of justifying this match, lets see if the announcers mention this. Who wants to bet that they do? I'll take that bet.
  
  Ok, so Earl Hebner wasn't involved in the Slammiversary conspiracy, but shouldn't he still be fired for being stupid enough to bump a ladder over? Also, did he not say that if he took the fall that Larry Z and Slick would as well and wouldn't that mean that he at least knew what happened and thus shouldn't he still be fired?
  
  Hi, I'm Casey and I remember stuff and ask logical questions, I need help for these problems.
  
  Commercial Time!
  
  UFC Countdown special commercial, its on kind of late for my tired ass.
  
  No surrender commercial.
  
  Hey, Ire member Rhino swore to god to break Christian in half. I might also wonder if God would approve of Rhino breaking a Christian in half, but then this is probably the same God that would approve of Iron Sheik threatening to break B. Brian Blair's back and then...well, you know the rest.
  
  Oh what? There's a match, look I'm sure Ric will have a real recap that actually mentions stuff that happened in this match. That's not why you're reading this and that's not why I'm writing it.
  
  You know the outcome of this match might be less obvious if not for the fact that someone's contract is coming to an end soon and said person hasn't resigned.
  
  Here's Christian. and we have a fucking disqualification in a falls count anywhere match.
  
  Just when I think I've seen every shitty finish in wrestling, there's a new episode of iMPACT to watch.
  
  
• Bobby Roode with Sheri Martel. What can Sheri do for the hottest free agent in wrestling? Well, when she meets him she can explain it to him.
  
  
• Samoa Joe says things. Actually, I kind of liked his promo because I'd probably rant and rave like a loon if I went through what Joe did earlier in the show.
  
  Commercial Time!
  
  Boston PD, its like NYPD blue but not.
  
  Is this show over yet? 11 minutes to go? Why does each minute feel like a year, anyone else have this problem?
  
  Its TNA 2, the movie that Jackasses have been promoting. I might have that switched up but I don't care.
  
  
• Christian promo. He drives off.
  
  
• LAX time! The Latino nation of 3 men is taking over. I'd just like that the legal population of the OCC is 6 (with 1 illegal alien making a total of 7) Crazy Rambler has not yet posted and thus is not a legal citizen. So I'm saying that OCC is better than LAX by 2 and that means I want my belt. If Karl and Ric can be former AWA champions I should get to be champion of something.
  
  
• Konnan says things, I was too busy writing and wasn't paying attention.
  Konnan, the American Constitution doesn't say "All men are created equal" that would be the Declaration of Independence. Sorry, but I am a former history major.
  
  Styles and Daniels hit the ring. You know for as much as I like most of the people involved in this, the segment is not doing much for my enthusiasm in this PPV.
  
  
• Hype video for the PPV to end the show and I'm tired so I'm thinking its bedtime.

I'm going to try and live blog the TNA show on Sunday but it will depend on my cable company.

Next post from me will be #500 from me. I know you're pumped.