OCC Television Coverage: TNA iMPACT 11/09/2006

Before I start tonight's iMPACT recap I think I need to answer a question that anyone reading this might have asked themselves.

If you don't like this show, then why do you watch it? If you don't like this company then why buy the Pay Per Views? Why buy the DVDs?

The truth is I don't like TNA, I love it. Maybe its not for the right reasons but I love TNA.

Let me explain, I love stuff that sucks. I love good stuff as well, but I am a big fan of horrible things.

So, before I started recapping iMPACT for the OCC, I would watch it and nothing would happen. It wouldn't be very good or very bad it would just be there. I've seen some terrible things on this show, which has made it enjoyable for me to review.

WWE does terrible things as well, but when the WWE does something stupid it is not memorably stupid. Like this last Monday night's raw was horrible but it will be forgotten by me in a month or less. I'll remember the reverse battle royal for as long as I live.

So I still support TNA with my money because I genuinely enjoy watching what I see. It still helps that I can see a pretty decent match or better from time to time, but see I see it like this.

Both WWE and TNA screw up But when WWE screws up its like a bottle rocket, nice to watch but whatever. When TNA does something stupid its like you just caused a super-nova to occur. Its not just dumb but spectacularly dumb and I am willing to pay to see if they can make it get worse.

Plus, for those that don't know I was a long-time WCW fan even toward the end. If I can survive Great American Bash 2000 I can survive TNA. Ric has gotten me in to a GAB 2000 support group and things will be OK.

Now that I've explained that:

This is TNA, if a wrestling company were held in the middle of the woods and nobody watched it, we'd be it.

1. We're recapping the Fight for the Right Tournament so far. Tying it to what I wrote above, I get a broad smile whenever I hear the phrase "Stage 3" and know that's not even the last stage.
   
   
2. iMPACT opening and we get the semifinals and finals of this tournament, which I guess is like stage 16-22 or something.
   
   
   1. AJ Styles w/Christopher Daniels Vs. Lance Hoyt w/Ron Killings Vs. Robert Roode W/Ms. Brooks - Fight for the Right Tournament Semifinals.
   
   
   
3. Robert Roode still has the most generic music in TNA. It has nothing to do with his character or anything, its just a song.
   
   
4. Tenay uses the words "interesting" and "last week's iMPACT" in the same sentence. I surely don't know what he was talking about but the only thing I can think of is:
   
   Nothing on last week's iMPACT was interesting.
   
   
5. It was apparently interesting that Ron Killings beat Lance Hoyt last week and now they're friends again. I don't find that interesting at all especially since they kind of decided that would be the case even before wrestling, but this is TNA we're talking about. So interest is in the eye of the beholder.
   
   
6. Killings executes a flip dive and the crowd chants "TNA". I am now back to hating this crowd again, and I miss the Detroit fans so very much.
   
   
7. Chris Sabin and Jerry Lynn are watching this match. But, I thought Styles was upset with Sabin for disrespecting Lynn. So if Lynn feels disrespected then why is he hanging out with Sabin still? Unless Lynn didn't feel disrespected and AJ Styles is a cry baby, either way the story doesn't interest me.
   
   
8. Fans chant lets go AJ. Robert Roode gets no chants.
   
   
9. Ms. Brooks interferes, but Lance Hoyt tosses her in to the crowd. Why'd Hoyt do that? That ended up helping AJ, but anyway a fan poured his drink on Ms. Brooks which got Roode out of the ring and allowed Styles to roll up Ron Killings for the win.
   
   Winner: AJ Styles - He faces Abyss later in the show.
   It wasn't an inoffensive match or anything, but it wasn't interestingly good either. In a sense it was just there which means I didn't enjoy it.
   
   Commercial Break!!!
   Back to a thought from earlier because even the commercials are boring tonight. I loved the reverse battle royal because it gave me enough material for a year's worth of iMPACT recaps. It was so stupid, that when I saw the spoilers I couldn't wait to see it and if you doubt me just ask Ric. I think I even made a post on OCC regarding my joy. I mean all things being = I'd prefer really good to spectacularly horrible but that is not what I'm getting from either company.
   
   
10. Robert Roode rants and raves. He says that if people love Robert Roode they will pay to see Robert Roode. Well, they're never going to love him but the theory itself is sound its just applied to the wrong guy. He demands image consultants and stuff.
    
    
11. Shane Douglas calls out Brother Ray and Brother Ray answers the call.
    Holy Shit, Douglas just said: "In front of millions of people here in the iMPACT zone." that may be the funniest thing since the time Stevy Ray said that 5,000 people watched Thunder.
    Douglas and Ray are arguing about stuff. I think they are arguing about who has the right to be pissed at who. Douglas says the Naturals aren't living off of a legacy from the past and some washed up company. This is because they can't live off of a legacy like that, they don't have one. He slaps Brother Ray and the Naturals hit the ring to execute a beatdown.
    
    The crowd chants for Devon who has not come to Ray's aid yet. Even Don West is speculating as to his whereabouts. The fans are booing this attack finally.
    
    
12. Cameras backstage show Brother Devon laid out and he's moaning. No woman is around so its not the good kind either. Tenay says that he has been told that was the dirty work of the Naturals. Ok, so if he was told that when the footage came up how is it that he felt the need to wonder where Devon was seconds before? I mean was his finding this information out at the exact moment that the footage started playing or might he have known before? Yes, I do think about this too much, I've come to terms with it and so should you.
    
    Commercial Break!!!
    Yes, we had a short backstage promo and then a brief in-ring promo that read to a beatdown and then a commercial. What a waste.
    
    Ultimate Fighter 4 finale commercial airs, followed by a Genesis commercial. I'd say I have the same amount of interest in both shows. I'll leave it to you to decide what I mean by that.
    
    
13. West and Tenay mention the move to Prime time next week then talk about LAX. Then we see highlights of an AMW autograph signing which turned in to a brawl with LAX. It is a brawl that LAX gets the better of and the crack TNA security team that hits the ring when Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle look at each other funny, were no where around.
    
    
    2. Petey Williams Vs. Johnny Devine Vs. Austin Aries
    
    
14. Austin Starr has the most generic music since Robert Roode.
    
    
15. Johnny Devine apparently was fired from Paparazzi for not editing the German Snuff films. Williams attempts a destroyer on Devine but Starr breaks it up.
    
    Devine hits a moonsault straight of the Nash playbook, at least that's what Nash said and I can think of no reason not to believe him. Tenay asks if that means Nash regrets letting Devine go and he says no because he didn't win. Yeah, like winning has ever mattered in this company.
    
    Alex Shelley bonked in to Starr and this allowed Williams to hit the Destroyer on Devine.
    
    Winner: Petey Williams - don't ask me what the point was.
    
    
16. LAX comes out and Tenay doesn't recognize the music at first, where's this guy been? Konnan has the Mic, "You can stop a revolutionary but not a revolution." Oh, I don't know about that. Konnan notices Williams and says that he's been discriminated against just like LAX. Yes, you always hear about the Canadian Oppression.
    
    
17. Konnan says that next week they'll burn the American flag. I'll bet they don't. He says he's going to spit on the flag, urinate on the flag and then burn it. Lets hope the flag isn't near an electric fence during the urination stage lest tragedy should strike.
    
    Commercial Break!!!
    A commercial for the forth volume of Family Guy on DVD airs. Talk about a show that's not as good as it thinks it is, and you'd be talking about Family Guy. Don't get me wrong it has its funny moments but it goes for the cheapest of laughs. It does the comedic equivalent to the heel insulting the home town of the audience to get heat.
    
    
18. Tenay talks about next week's steel cage match with Rhino in Christian but he does so in that voice reserved for when someone is carried out of the arena on a stretcher.
    
    
19. Christian talks about how Rhino has no advantage in the cage match. Christian says that there is nobody smarter than him inside the ring. I was unaware that you could be smarter in the ring than you are backstage. Does his IQ go up by 50 points when he walks in the ring.
    
    
20. Rhino gets a chance to respond and his comments are less interesting and that's saying quite a bit. Christian tries to interrupt but to no avail.
    
    
21. Rhino threatens to kick Christian's ass right now.
    
    
22. Don West is at Genesis central. I guess that's like the old WWF events center. You know this idea isn't a bad one if the execution could be better. He pimps the touring schedule, the DVD releases, the website, the move to prime time and the pay per view. I am in favor of things like this but would be more in favor of a segment like this if the show itself weren't an hour.
    
    
23. Still to come, AJ Styles Vs. Abyss in the finals of the fight for the right tournament. James Mitchell is laughing at something, he must've read my recap of last week's show while caught on camera. Yeah, that had to be it.
    
    Commercial Break!!!
    Ultimate Fighter 4 marathon on Saturday. Now that's the kind of thing that would kill me to recap for the boredom.
    
    Sting and X-division DVD commercials air.
    
    
24. Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle are cutting promos on their match at Genesis. You know the company has done better jobs of building up feuds but it has also done far far worse. The build hasn't been what I'd call great but it has been 1 of the more well-done builds for a match in this company in quite some time. I'd say its the most well-done build since Samoa Joe and Scott Steiner which had a good build and then amounted to nothing.
    
    
    3. Abyss Vs. AJ Styles - Fight for the Right Tournament finals
    
    
25. The winner faces Sting at Genesis and Kurt Angle next week. I don't understand why that needed to happen but then I'm not Vince Russo so the world just doesn't make sense to me.
    
    
26. Don West says that AJ needs to forget about the fact that he holds the X-division title. This means that AJ is to become one of the viewers of this show.
    
    
27. TNA officials mandate that Daniels and Mitchell can't be at ringside, then why did they come out with their respective partners? Why walk out just to walk back?
    
    
28. AJ tries to over-power Abyss. That goes as well as you'd think. Maybe its just me, but AJ has wrestled Abyss so many times that you'd think he'd know better by now.
    
    
29. Abyss decides to wedge a chair between the top and middle rope. If this were WWE fantasy then he'd be trying to earn 3 points. See, Ric isn't the only one that can work WWE in to his recap columns.
    
    
30. Tenay was just informed that the winner of this match faces Angle next week. I could've sworn that it was mentioned earlier in this show either during the 3-way or that Genesis Center or whatever they called it but I'm not caring enough to go back and check.
    
    
31. Chris Sabin is out again.
    
    
32. Christian comes out right as the ref is bumped (good timing) and hits both Styles and Abyss with a chair.
    
    
33. This referee is so stupid. He gets up to see that both competitors are laid out, and Christian had just used a mic to say he was the only true #1 contender, and he can't put 2 and 2 together.
    
    The referee counts both men out and the other referees come out to explain things as we go to a:
    
    Commercial Break!!!
    
    
34. Due to the importance of this match, it must continue. Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!
    
    
35. AJ gets a series of near falls after the match restart.
    
    
36. Tenay: "People at the impact zone are on the edge of their seats, they're standing"...now that's a trick.
    
    
37. Daniels and Mitchell who were banned from ringside came back out. I bet they're not punished for breaking the Ban, no wonder nobody cares about stipulations anymore? What's the point of banning someone from ringside if nothing happens to them when they break the rule?
    
    
38. Chris Sabin attacks AJ during the fracas and Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam.
    
    
39. Sting is shown in the rafters as the show closes.

Final Thoughts: So at the beginning I explained that I liked watching TNA lately because while it was bad, it was not boring and that at least something horrible like that reverse battle royal would be memorable. So what does TNA do? They put on a show that was just bland, and inoffensive and just kind of there.
They kept the focus on a few things, which would be the feuds between LAX/AMW, Angle/Joe and Rhino/Christian. They also centered on the Fight for the Right Tournament. So, in terms of plot advancement they did an OK job, but it was just OK. Its not like I would take this tape and show it to someone and say "Look at how well this segment was done," or "Look at this stupidly booked over-contrived gimmick match". It was ordinary which is the kind of show that I don't enjoy.
As I said it did what it set out to do and moved certain programs forward but the trouble is these are programs that largely nobody cares about. I mean the Naturals/3D segment was fine accept that nobody cares about the Naturals and the people booed because its what they were supposed to do and I guess because they like 3D but not because they cared about the Naturals. You've still got wacky 3-ways taking place for no reason other than to explain that Shelley and Starr don't get a long. Ok, but you could explain that with backstage promos, you didn't need to toss on a match that leads to nothing. Does Williams move up the X-rankings for the win tonight? No, so what's the point of the match. It only existed to show the trouble between Shelley/Starr, but what if that didn't exist?
Look Raw has matches that appear to take place for no good reason at all, but Raw isn't an hour long. I've bitched about the fact that other than to move a story forward we have no idea why some matches even take place. Furthermore, why did this need to be a 3-way? Why not just have Williams go over Starr? Its like they wanted Starr to lose without losing so they had to throw in a third man to eat the pin. I'd call that whole mess the low point of a bland show.