OC Times Editorial: TNA iMPACT - 04/19/2007
Welcome back to the iMPACT review that has never been accused of being worse than the show itself accept by those who read it.
We have Lockdown fallout, and begin the build to Sacrifice.
TNA, We Are Wrestling. If you don't believe us, we've got an awesome Blindfold match to show you.
A recap of last week's show and Lockdown main event. Kurt Angle says if Jarrett screws Team Angle, he screws Kurt Angle. Vince McMahon believes the same thing.
Impact opening airs as it usually does on Impact.
Don West says the Pay Per View in St. Louis was great. Nice to know he wore a Blindfold during that Blindfold match as well.
Tonight's card...
Mike Tenay is in the ring and introduces the 6 time NWA champion, Jeff Jarrett. The crowd reaction is mixed at best and outright boos at worst.
Don West in his adult voice tells us that Jarrett has been dealing with personal issues. He says you can question Jarrett the wrestler but not Jarrett the man. Remember that when the heel turn comes.
Tenay says Jarrett returned last week with the guitar shot heard round the world. Crowd chants welcome back for like 5 seconds before they stop the sham. Tenay asks what changed in Jarrett the last 6 months that made him decide that a change was in order?
Jarrett said he had a lot of time to reflect on his career. He says that not everything revolves around Jeff Jarrett and it was time to give back. Right that down. He says he's looked back on his career and he's realized that it is time to give back. He says that Sting has been an example of one who gives. Bwahahahahahahahaha. He says last week was step 1, Lockdown was step 2 and step 3 will shock everyone.
Kurt Angle wants to interrupt the Jeff Jarrett appreciation show and that's handy because his music plays allowing himself to do so.
Angle wants to know if he heard Jarrett right? So I guess he's got hearing problems along with everything else. He took issue with how Jarrett went about making things right. Well gee Kurt, maybe you could've gotten the pin at Lockdown were you not hanging out on the cage roof?
Angle called Jarrett and invited him back in the game. Nobody trusted Jarrett and Angle took the brunt of it. Angle says a word that got bleeped. Angle wants to know why Jarrett would hand a title shot to Sting, the man who hated him most? Actually, I believe that honor would fall to Samoa Joe since Sting never said he'd kill Jeff Jarrett and Sting because he's gullible even agreed he'd give him the benefit of the doubt.
Jarrett says that with all due respect to Angle he doesn't feel he has to make things right to him at all because he did exactly what he promised him he would do. He says this business was all about timing and Sting was in the right place at the right time whereas Angle was not. Holy shit, something that actually makes sense.
Angle says it looks like Jeff is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sting's music plays allowing him to come out and drop some rhymes for the house.
This one is for Ric. "And then, my friend, you die!"
Sting says if you've got a problem with the way he got his title shot at Lockdown, you've got a problem with him. He says he's had his hands full with Abyss these last 6 months. I want you to keep this in mind for later.
Sting says Angle talks like he's the leader of TNA. He says that Jarrett has wrestled 20 years, Sting has wrestled 20 years and if his figures are right Angle's only been wrestling for 10. This gets the crowd to do some booing. I was unaware that leadership was always based on experience but what the hell?
If it wasn't for guys like Sting and Jarrett, Angle would be a gold medalist gym teacher. Sting says if Angle wants a shot at Cage, then it will be Angle Vs. Sting next week winner take all. The crowd was chanting "fight" throughout this, so they're clearly interested.
Christian and his group are backstage. Christian says that he likes to challenge himself. He says that he pulled some strings and will challenge for the tag titles with Abyss as his partner. He says Abyss cost them the match at Lockdown, which is true since he gave Jarrett the guitar. Christian says tonight is his last chance.
Match 1: Christopher Daniels Vs. Samoa Joe Vs. Rhino Vs. AJ Styles
Daniels wearing the Sting mask is meant to send Sting a message, so says Mike Tenay.
The match begins after the commercial Break!!!
Tenay and West spend so much of this match plugging next week's show. Then they plug Wide World of Spike which features Euan's favorite TNA performer, Christy Hemme! I heard he set 6 VCR's just to make sure he got that recorded.
This looks more like a tag team match than a singles bout with Daniels and Styles fighting against Joe and Rhino. Joe and Styles brawl on the floor, Daniels hits Rhino with a bat and gets the pin.
Winner: Christopher Daniels
Well, it was a very good 4 minutes.
Styles and Joe continue to brawl. Perhaps this will lead to a singles match? I'm fine with that by the way. Unless of course, it involves Blindfolds.
Borash is with Angle. Angle says Sting is full of BS. He's not the only one Kurt. Angle says having less than 8 years in the business means he's still in his prime. Sadly, no it does not Kurt.
Match 2: Chris Harris w/Gail Kim Vs. Robert Roode
Harris' new music is a knockoff of "more human than human". Jackie Moore comes out and attacks Gail Kim. They brawl as we go to a commercial Break!!
Back from the break its my favorite TNA performer behind all of the rest of them, Robert Roode.
If Roode ever teams with Christy, Euan and I will have an epic rant.
Well, if TNA is stupid enough to give Sting and Angle away for free, at least they're smart enough to plug the match. The smartness of the plug is not enough to make up for the stupidity of the move.
Harris is still at less than 100%. I think it is because he watched his match from Sunday.
Harris wants to have a Texas Death Match at Sacrifice against Storm and Cornette is washing his hands of this. Cornette picked the wrong match to wash his hands from if you ask me. However, it will be better than the blindfold match just from the standpoint that it can't possibly be worse.
Harris hits the Catatonic on Roode but Ms. Brooks pulls the referee out of the ring. Handcuffs get involved and this leads to a win for Roode.
Winner: Robert Roode
EY pushes down Ms. Brooks and Roode heads out to the floor and slaps Young. Roode is tired of Young embarrassing him. He's tired of Young trying to make a fool out of him. Roode noticed when Young would cheer for his opponent. He noticed when Young tried to screw him, hopefully not Old Country Vay, at Lockdown. He wants to know if Young is mad that Roode beat up his friend?
This apparently draws laughter from Young.. Young says that Petey wasn't the friend he was referring to and Roode wants to know who it is or else. EY doesn't want to give him the name. Roode gives him one week or he will be fired on national TV next week. He will show Young and his friends that it pays to be Roode.
James Mitchell is backstage reading Abyss the riot act. He says that tonight Abyss has no more chances or else he'll send Abyss' mom to prison for a long list of crimes. Abyss yells and screams and groans in the background.
We are now with Alex Shelley and Kevin Nash. Shelley can't believe that Black Machismo has caught on so well, has he not seen this man? He wants to know why he's not benefiting? Nash says that Lethal and Sonjay are going to earn a shot in a 3-way for the belt.
Lethal comes in and he does his Macho impression and it earns this show 6,000,000,000,000 stars.
Big Daddy Dutt comes in to the picture and he is not down with this gimmick. He tells Nash to stick it because he's tired of being a joke.
West and Tenay are joined by Konnan and LAX. West says that Sonjay is jealous of Black Machismo. He should be, I mean have you not seen this man?
A video package airs from Lockdown of LAX Vs. Team 3D. This company has balls, no brains, but balls. Oh, OK they do have some brains, they only showed the splash through the table and 3D winning. Yay for good ideas!
Match 3: NWA World Tag Team Titles - Christian Cage and Abyss Vs. Team 3D
Konnan says that this is complete BS. He wonders where LAX's rematch is? He does have a point, LAX gave 3D like 600 rematches even though they never won.
Tenay says that 3D is grand slam champions. Konnan says the only grand slam they're famous for is the breakfast at Dennie's. I have not mentioned my love for Konnan in awhile, I love him. He and Black Machismo must be involved in many segments together in the future.
West agrees with Konnan's point about LAX not getting a shot. This sets off an argument between Tenay and Konnan with them both saying West is basically a closeted LAX fan. I on the other hand am out of the closet...errr...I mean more open about my...err...more willing to admit that I love...no....waaaaaa....Lax Rulz, there I said it without sounding entirely gay. My recap of this exchange does not do it justice for once.
Crowd really wants tables, but fuck them because Konnan is busy being awesome.
Konnan says nobody wants to see Sting Vs. Kurt Angle next week, but if you team them up against LAX then you've got a match. Preach on Brother K-dog!
The crowd is h. o. t. for this one.
Christian goes high-risk on 3D but they send Abyss in to him, hit Abyss with 3D and get the pin.
Winners: Team 3D
Konnan hopes Don doesn't have a heart attack over his call of the pin.
Christian is not happy and we'll see the aftermath after the break!!!
Christian face-to-face with Abyss. Abyss goozles Christian and Mitchell threatens him with the phone. Abyss attacks Christian and the fight is on.
Abyss has the upper hand but the rest of Team Cage come out for a beatdown. Konnan loves the gang mentality of Team Cage.
Abyss hits Mitchell with a Black Hole slam and thus a face is born.
Abyss going for the tacks as all of Team Cage has been laid out. Tomko attacks from behind before anything can happen, Steiner and AJ join in and the beatdown is on.
Christian cracks Abyss with a chair and then passes the chair to Tomko who takes his shot. Now Steiner has the chair and he gets in a shot and then its AJ's turn. Someone is kind enough to ring the bell to express displeasure.
The barbed wire bat is brought in to play and Konnan says it would only be better if it was set on fire. Konnan is egging on Team Cage and it is great.
Conchairto is the last thing we see before Team Cage's music hits and the show goes off the air.
My Thoughts: We had a good deal amount of wrestling this week which was pretty good. Also, I love heel beatdowns and the one on Abyss ruled the school. However, I did have one problem with this.
Abyss finally does what Sting hoped he would do...and where the fuck was Sting to save his ass? Otherwise, everything else vas great.
We have Lockdown fallout, and begin the build to Sacrifice.
TNA, We Are Wrestling. If you don't believe us, we've got an awesome Blindfold match to show you.
A recap of last week's show and Lockdown main event. Kurt Angle says if Jarrett screws Team Angle, he screws Kurt Angle. Vince McMahon believes the same thing.
Impact opening airs as it usually does on Impact.
Don West says the Pay Per View in St. Louis was great. Nice to know he wore a Blindfold during that Blindfold match as well.
Tonight's card...
- Samoa Joe Vs. AJ Styles Vs. Rhino Vs. Christopher Daniels
- Robert Roode Vs. Chris Harris
- Team 3D Vs. Christian Cage and Abyss for the NWA World Tag Team titles.
- Plus, a Jeff Jarrett interview.
Mike Tenay is in the ring and introduces the 6 time NWA champion, Jeff Jarrett. The crowd reaction is mixed at best and outright boos at worst.
Don West in his adult voice tells us that Jarrett has been dealing with personal issues. He says you can question Jarrett the wrestler but not Jarrett the man. Remember that when the heel turn comes.
Tenay says Jarrett returned last week with the guitar shot heard round the world. Crowd chants welcome back for like 5 seconds before they stop the sham. Tenay asks what changed in Jarrett the last 6 months that made him decide that a change was in order?
Jarrett said he had a lot of time to reflect on his career. He says that not everything revolves around Jeff Jarrett and it was time to give back. Right that down. He says he's looked back on his career and he's realized that it is time to give back. He says that Sting has been an example of one who gives. Bwahahahahahahahaha. He says last week was step 1, Lockdown was step 2 and step 3 will shock everyone.
Kurt Angle wants to interrupt the Jeff Jarrett appreciation show and that's handy because his music plays allowing himself to do so.
Angle wants to know if he heard Jarrett right? So I guess he's got hearing problems along with everything else. He took issue with how Jarrett went about making things right. Well gee Kurt, maybe you could've gotten the pin at Lockdown were you not hanging out on the cage roof?
Angle called Jarrett and invited him back in the game. Nobody trusted Jarrett and Angle took the brunt of it. Angle says a word that got bleeped. Angle wants to know why Jarrett would hand a title shot to Sting, the man who hated him most? Actually, I believe that honor would fall to Samoa Joe since Sting never said he'd kill Jeff Jarrett and Sting because he's gullible even agreed he'd give him the benefit of the doubt.
Jarrett says that with all due respect to Angle he doesn't feel he has to make things right to him at all because he did exactly what he promised him he would do. He says this business was all about timing and Sting was in the right place at the right time whereas Angle was not. Holy shit, something that actually makes sense.
Angle says it looks like Jeff is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sting's music plays allowing him to come out and drop some rhymes for the house.
This one is for Ric. "And then, my friend, you die!"
Sting says if you've got a problem with the way he got his title shot at Lockdown, you've got a problem with him. He says he's had his hands full with Abyss these last 6 months. I want you to keep this in mind for later.
Sting says Angle talks like he's the leader of TNA. He says that Jarrett has wrestled 20 years, Sting has wrestled 20 years and if his figures are right Angle's only been wrestling for 10. This gets the crowd to do some booing. I was unaware that leadership was always based on experience but what the hell?
If it wasn't for guys like Sting and Jarrett, Angle would be a gold medalist gym teacher. Sting says if Angle wants a shot at Cage, then it will be Angle Vs. Sting next week winner take all. The crowd was chanting "fight" throughout this, so they're clearly interested.
Christian and his group are backstage. Christian says that he likes to challenge himself. He says that he pulled some strings and will challenge for the tag titles with Abyss as his partner. He says Abyss cost them the match at Lockdown, which is true since he gave Jarrett the guitar. Christian says tonight is his last chance.
Match 1: Christopher Daniels Vs. Samoa Joe Vs. Rhino Vs. AJ Styles
Daniels wearing the Sting mask is meant to send Sting a message, so says Mike Tenay.
The match begins after the commercial Break!!!
Tenay and West spend so much of this match plugging next week's show. Then they plug Wide World of Spike which features Euan's favorite TNA performer, Christy Hemme! I heard he set 6 VCR's just to make sure he got that recorded.
This looks more like a tag team match than a singles bout with Daniels and Styles fighting against Joe and Rhino. Joe and Styles brawl on the floor, Daniels hits Rhino with a bat and gets the pin.
Winner: Christopher Daniels
Well, it was a very good 4 minutes.
Styles and Joe continue to brawl. Perhaps this will lead to a singles match? I'm fine with that by the way. Unless of course, it involves Blindfolds.
Borash is with Angle. Angle says Sting is full of BS. He's not the only one Kurt. Angle says having less than 8 years in the business means he's still in his prime. Sadly, no it does not Kurt.
Match 2: Chris Harris w/Gail Kim Vs. Robert Roode
Harris' new music is a knockoff of "more human than human". Jackie Moore comes out and attacks Gail Kim. They brawl as we go to a commercial Break!!
Back from the break its my favorite TNA performer behind all of the rest of them, Robert Roode.
If Roode ever teams with Christy, Euan and I will have an epic rant.
Well, if TNA is stupid enough to give Sting and Angle away for free, at least they're smart enough to plug the match. The smartness of the plug is not enough to make up for the stupidity of the move.
Harris is still at less than 100%. I think it is because he watched his match from Sunday.
Harris wants to have a Texas Death Match at Sacrifice against Storm and Cornette is washing his hands of this. Cornette picked the wrong match to wash his hands from if you ask me. However, it will be better than the blindfold match just from the standpoint that it can't possibly be worse.
Harris hits the Catatonic on Roode but Ms. Brooks pulls the referee out of the ring. Handcuffs get involved and this leads to a win for Roode.
Winner: Robert Roode
EY pushes down Ms. Brooks and Roode heads out to the floor and slaps Young. Roode is tired of Young embarrassing him. He's tired of Young trying to make a fool out of him. Roode noticed when Young would cheer for his opponent. He noticed when Young tried to screw him, hopefully not Old Country Vay, at Lockdown. He wants to know if Young is mad that Roode beat up his friend?
This apparently draws laughter from Young.. Young says that Petey wasn't the friend he was referring to and Roode wants to know who it is or else. EY doesn't want to give him the name. Roode gives him one week or he will be fired on national TV next week. He will show Young and his friends that it pays to be Roode.
James Mitchell is backstage reading Abyss the riot act. He says that tonight Abyss has no more chances or else he'll send Abyss' mom to prison for a long list of crimes. Abyss yells and screams and groans in the background.
We are now with Alex Shelley and Kevin Nash. Shelley can't believe that Black Machismo has caught on so well, has he not seen this man? He wants to know why he's not benefiting? Nash says that Lethal and Sonjay are going to earn a shot in a 3-way for the belt.
Lethal comes in and he does his Macho impression and it earns this show 6,000,000,000,000 stars.
Big Daddy Dutt comes in to the picture and he is not down with this gimmick. He tells Nash to stick it because he's tired of being a joke.
West and Tenay are joined by Konnan and LAX. West says that Sonjay is jealous of Black Machismo. He should be, I mean have you not seen this man?
A video package airs from Lockdown of LAX Vs. Team 3D. This company has balls, no brains, but balls. Oh, OK they do have some brains, they only showed the splash through the table and 3D winning. Yay for good ideas!
Match 3: NWA World Tag Team Titles - Christian Cage and Abyss Vs. Team 3D
Konnan says that this is complete BS. He wonders where LAX's rematch is? He does have a point, LAX gave 3D like 600 rematches even though they never won.
Tenay says that 3D is grand slam champions. Konnan says the only grand slam they're famous for is the breakfast at Dennie's. I have not mentioned my love for Konnan in awhile, I love him. He and Black Machismo must be involved in many segments together in the future.
West agrees with Konnan's point about LAX not getting a shot. This sets off an argument between Tenay and Konnan with them both saying West is basically a closeted LAX fan. I on the other hand am out of the closet...errr...I mean more open about my...err...more willing to admit that I love...no....waaaaaa....Lax Rulz, there I said it without sounding entirely gay. My recap of this exchange does not do it justice for once.
Crowd really wants tables, but fuck them because Konnan is busy being awesome.
Konnan says nobody wants to see Sting Vs. Kurt Angle next week, but if you team them up against LAX then you've got a match. Preach on Brother K-dog!
The crowd is h. o. t. for this one.
Christian goes high-risk on 3D but they send Abyss in to him, hit Abyss with 3D and get the pin.
Winners: Team 3D
Konnan hopes Don doesn't have a heart attack over his call of the pin.
Christian is not happy and we'll see the aftermath after the break!!!
Christian face-to-face with Abyss. Abyss goozles Christian and Mitchell threatens him with the phone. Abyss attacks Christian and the fight is on.
Abyss has the upper hand but the rest of Team Cage come out for a beatdown. Konnan loves the gang mentality of Team Cage.
Abyss hits Mitchell with a Black Hole slam and thus a face is born.
Abyss going for the tacks as all of Team Cage has been laid out. Tomko attacks from behind before anything can happen, Steiner and AJ join in and the beatdown is on.
Christian cracks Abyss with a chair and then passes the chair to Tomko who takes his shot. Now Steiner has the chair and he gets in a shot and then its AJ's turn. Someone is kind enough to ring the bell to express displeasure.
The barbed wire bat is brought in to play and Konnan says it would only be better if it was set on fire. Konnan is egging on Team Cage and it is great.
Conchairto is the last thing we see before Team Cage's music hits and the show goes off the air.
My Thoughts: We had a good deal amount of wrestling this week which was pretty good. Also, I love heel beatdowns and the one on Abyss ruled the school. However, I did have one problem with this.
Abyss finally does what Sting hoped he would do...and where the fuck was Sting to save his ass? Otherwise, everything else vas great.
Labels: iMPACT, OCC Television Coverage, TNA
posted by Casey Trowbridge at 4/20/2007 06:22:00 AM
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