The Ultimate Fighter Season 5 Ep.2 Review

A little late but hey i'm here with a double review of TUF5 so let's get straight into it.

We begin with a recap of the last fight which was basically the destruction of the "Monsta Lobsta" Allen. What a nice triangle choke that was. We cut into Cole's dressing room after the fight and he is so happy he is in tears and then the show becomes 100000000 stars. Team Pulver have created their own UFC championship belt which i have named the UFC Ghetto Championship, you have to see this belt it's awesome. Cole is presented with the belt and Team Pulver celebrate.

Back in the house, Allen reappears to everyones surprise and announces that he will be staying and training, everyone is ok with this. The next day everyone is waiting to get a massage and Travis Lutter's number one fan Gabe decides to take this opportunity to rip on Matt and says that he will crush him. What with is the question? Matt has enough and leaves the room and Gabe continues his rant to the others. Later in the kitchen, Matt confronts Gabe and tells him not to run his mouth and stop screwing up the team mentality. They both reach some kind of understanding and shake hands. Meanwhile, Corey is so concerned about this situation he is using a lint roller on his shirt. Corey~!

We return to the training center for the FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT~! Since Pulver's fighter won the last fight, he gets to make the fight but Penn has other ideas and before the announcement he pulls Emerson away and gives him a script to fuck with Corey so that BJ gets the fight he wants (Emerson vs. Corey). So Dana rounds up both teams and as Pulver is about to announce the fight, Emerson begins to rain down F-bombs in the direction of Corey and he reacts just like Penn was wanting. Dana has already worked out what is going on and sits back and enjoys the chaos. Not wanting to feel left out, Manny from Team Pulver pipes in with "Hey Gabe, how's the weight?" ROTFLOL. Manny then choses Noah and the fight is made. Pulver got his own way despite BJ's best efforts. Dana simply leaves with this message "Have a good day you crazy motherfuckers!"

We go to a Team Penn training session and Noah makes the following vote of self confidence "I'm the underdog". You will go far kid. Meanwhile, BJ is performing verbal fellatio on Noah.

We head back to the house for one of the dumbest things i have ever seen. Some of the guys are out the back and notice some girls on horseback and invite them round to the house. Once there, one of the horses slips on the tarmac and falls due to it wearing horseshoes. How did the guys react? They laughed...FUCK YOU! Eventually, the rest of the guys in the house come out to the aid of the fallen horse and get it back on its feet so everything is ok. Off screen someone says the following as the horse leaves: "Give that horse some hay or a powerbar" I will admit, that wass funny.

BJ has learned of the Gabe/Matt situation and in the training center he talks to Matt about the problems and Gabe appears and is asked to sit down. He replies with a no saying "don't tell me what to do" What a dick. BJ calls a team meeting inside the octagon in an attempt to clear the air between them both. Matt then goes on a hell of a tirade at Gabe and nothing much is solved. BJ has had enough of this shit and tells the camera that he will bar both of them from training if they cost the rest of the guys any more time. Good call.

Team Pulver have their first training session and to put it simply Manny is a machine. He also reveals that he is the cousin of UFC fighter Karo Parisyan and they have been training partners for 15 years. Sucks to be you Noah.

It's time for the WEIGH INS~!

Noah starts to get on my nerves by acting like a complete fucktard at the weigh ins and actually weighs in with a sandwich in one hand at 155.5lbs. A weight Gabe can only dream of the fat fuck he is. Manny weighs in at 156lbs and declares his hate for Noah with this statement "You're a fatass motherfucker!" Dana White who is quickly becoming the king of the one liners says this about Manny "If he can't submit anyone, he will rip their fucking limbs off" Thumbs up for that idea, no one has tried that yet.

The next day, BJ has given his team the day off to recover. Let the insanity begin! Joe explains that the guys found a shield in the house and decided it would be fun to throw stuff at it while someone holds it. So out to the garden they go and find metal rods to throw but Joe insists on using a ball as a tester before throwing metal spikes at someone. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise as the ball missed the shield and went straight into the nut sack region of the lucky member holding the shield and that game was quickly ended.

Now bored Team Penn find something else to do...write on the walls. It starts off innocently enough with the guys writing messages of support to the troops in Iraq. This ends shortly there after with Emerson writing "Suck It, Team Pulver". Meanwhile Gabe is getting acquinted with the sauna while i think Emerson plays darts, he quickly becomes bored with hitting the wall beneath the board and begins to throw the darts into the wood of the sauna. TEAM PENN HAVE LOST IT!

Team Pulver return from training and the shit hits the fan. Team Pulver and in particular Nate Diaz don't see the funny side and quickly the cuss words start flying. Meanwhile Nate has taken his t-shirt off and is demanding to know who wrote "Suck It, Team Pulver" on the wall so he can kill them. Emerson owns up to the tagging but attempts to explain it was meant to be a bit of fun and the others did not have an influence on the message. While this is going on, Rob attempts to calm everyone down and Brandon bitches him out. He also then expresses an interest in killing Gabe. Good man. Not content with all this, Manny completely loses it and goes on a fuck laden tirade at everyone and anything. This was a man losing his mind and boy it was entertaining. Of all people to be the voice of reason, Corey takes Manny aside and calms him down telling him he is his bro and such. You think me going mental about stuff is funny, watch this episode and see how to go on a rant.

FIGHT DAY~!

It's a contrast of mood in the house as Manny is very calm while Noah looks quite concerned. We head to the training center for the fight!

Tale of the tape

Noah Thomas: 25, 5’8”, 67.5” Reach, Record 10-4

Mannny Gamburyan: 25, 5’5”, 66” Reach, Record 8-2

Steve Mazzagatti is our referee for this 2x5 minute round fight.

This fight does not go long as from the off, Manny is a monster in the cage and begins to kill Noah early in round one with a sweet overhand right that puts Noah on his ass for a second. Once on the ground, Manny continues the humbling with hammerfists and punches eventually sinching a nice looking kimura which Noah immediately taps out to and the fight is over.

Winner - Manny via submission (kimura) 2.09 Round 1

Post fight Jens called Manny "a little pitbull" in the cage and he was correct. This was another humbling for the Team Penn representative and to make matters worse, this was Manny's first fight in 2 and a half years. Noah is nearly in tears in his dressing room as the show comes to a close.

I LOVE THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER. WATCH THIS SHOW!