OCC Live iMPACT Blogging - 09/28/2006
We're back for tonight's iMPACT.
This is TNA...the new something of something.
They start off by showing the Kurt Angle video from the PPV. Well, that's a good way to catch the attention of any UFC fans that couldn't find the remote.
Usual iMPACT opening:
Tonight on the show, an exclusive BFG press conference. Oh Dear, TNA never does these right.
Kurt Angle's name has now been mention six hundred times on this show.
Lance Hoyt Vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett just couldn't wait for this match to start. He means business because Joe has his belt and he can't live without his precious.
Lance Hoyt sounds like the name of an accountant or something not a 6'9 wrestler. I suggest a new name Gahndi the Giant.
Lance Hoyt got 0 offense, Jarret is holding people back! Hoyt wins, but it is Jarrett's music that plays.
Jarrett has the microphone. The crowd mixing on this show is weird. Its like there's some boos and then there are other guys that seem to be exchanging recipes.
Jarrett is giving Cornette a chance to do the right thing. Close the company?
Jarrett talks but the fans prove that they are smart by correctly pointing out that this is an Angle. Seriously, they chanted Angle, Angle, Angle.
Jim Cornette press conference. He announces Monsters Ball III: Raven/Runt/Abyss/Samoa Joe. You know, I read the spoilers, so thanks to TNA for announcing the match before we see the angles that I guess are supposed to set it up!
How this company hasn't made $10 billion this year, I'll never know.
Commercial Break!
I heard "Big Time!" again and it just reminded me how glad I am that WWE doesn't use that song for every PPV. 1 was enough and as Yogi Bear used to say: "Enough is too much!"
Austin Starr video airs. He says at BFG, TNA gets Starr struck. You see its funny because his last name is Starr and a star is a big name or...hey, a match.
Samoa Joe Vs. Raven
Ok seeing as how Tenay and West are talking about Monsters Ball, it was supposed to be revealed that way. Now the question is why? Did Cornette just pull names out of a hat and say, "Ok, you, you, you and you, monsters ball fuckers! And the winner has to kill Vince Russo for me and take the fall when all of the focus comes toward me." He may not have actually said that, the monsters ball thing is probably just something I made up.
The fans are either chanting "Joe" or "choke" or maybe its a dueling chant of "Joe, choke"
Hey, Samoa Joe won, of course Brother Runt helped. Joe can't win without a midget. TNA is stealing Fit Finlay's gimmick!
Runt slaps Joe and is one inch closer to death. Runt should never again have an offensive flurry against Joe.
Here comes The Monster James Mitchell and Father Abyss. That doesn't look quite right to me but that's why I have editors. So if you actually see that written as the Monster James Mitchell and Father Abyss it must be right.
Samoa Joe, not knowing how things work in TNA says that if Jarrett wants the title he can come get it. He's been in the company for over a year now, you'd think he'd know what Jarrett will and will not do and who will or will not be bringing him his belt?
Commercial break!
A couple of thoughts. TNA seems to have dropped the Slick Johnson/Earl Hebner storyline. I say thank you and to show how appreciative I am, no negative comments toward TNA in the next 3....words. This is the end of TNA's first year on SpikeTV. Where has the time gone? I would ask for it back but I'd probably just waste it watching shows like ECW and iMPACT again or God forbid Smackdown.
Chuck Liddell is going to be on Ultimate Fighter next week. I don't know who that Liddell guy is but if he's going to be on TUF he might be good.
TNA aired a couple of commercials. Apparently, the Sting DVD is the most anticipated DVD in TNA history. Not by me friend and I am a Sting fan. I'm all about the cooking with Gail Kim DVD that will be released on my birthday of 1/8. Now don't feel bad if you can't find this DVD in stores. There's only 1 being made and its mine.
Oh, when I was thinking of Gail Kim naked again a video of Rhino and Christian aired. This in no way stopped my train of thought on Gail.
I am however thankful for Rhino's explanation that in a street fight, anything goes. Lets hope so because last week I learned a falls count anywhere match can end in a DQ.
Team 3D Vs. the Miracle Jobber Connection.
The MJC has a slightly worse chance in this match than team USSR had in the movie Miracle against Team USA.
Crowd chants "Welcome Back" I love these people, anyone that is a fan of Welcome Back Kotter is cool with me.
Now they chant "We want tables" Jesus these guys haven't even been back for 2 minutes and you're already begging them for stuff?
Tenay and West talk Curtly about an Angle.
West says that the roof came off the place when the announcement was made, good thing Universal has insurance.
Team 3D won, as you can probably tell.
Brother Ray: We're back. No shit, I just saw you wrestle.
Crowd chants for Mr. Kotter again.
Ray tells us who they are in case we forgot. While I did try to forget it didn't quite happen.
They want the NWA world tag team titles. Well, he could go the Samoa Joe route and tell Styles and Daniels to bring them the belts.
He wants the belts when they earn the shot. Well, since wrestling is a fixed sport very few things are ever truly earned, so they'll be waiting away until death do they part.
Now he's talking about their revolution. If I were Konnan and LAX I'd kick their asses. There's only room for 1 revolution in TNA. Or at least I hope that's all their is room for in TNA.
Though with all of the revolutions taking place in TNA, I've got their next slogan.
"TNA, everyone here is revolting!" Now that's what I call truth in advertising.
Apparently, Martin Luther King Jr. will be at Bound for Glory. Either that or Sting. If you want to know which one it will be you'll have to order the show. Sure, you think MLK Jr. is dead but that's not something that would stand in a true athlete's way. Hell, death never seemed to bother the Undertaker before.
Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell say things. Luger said something that involved words, but I wasn't able to figure it out. It may have been because he was incoherent and nobody could figure it out. It may have been because I was pondering extras for that Gail Kim DVD. Here's a hint, it was the first one though I would make no apologies were it the second one.
Buff said words too but he's Buff and unless the words are "Paper or Plastic" "do you want a full tank?" or "can I super size this for you?" I could not care any less about what he has to say. Don't believe me? Come by and watch me not care on my webcam its free to join but I do require a credit card number to verify that it is you.
Commercial Break!
Damn, Luger and Buff are back. I was hoping this was a bad dream caused by food that would eventually poison me to death. This is much worse than that.
Ok, which 1 is supposed to be Lenny and which is Squiggy? I think Buff is Squiggy.
Jeremy Borash is with some guy. Jeff something, I think he's trying to be important.
Eric Young shows up. Jarrett charges Eric Young with the task of getting his belt back.
Young doesn't think he can do it. Other stuff happened as well but that's not my fault.
Paparazzi and Senshi Vs. Larry, Moe and Curly's less talented trio of younger siblings.
Bound for Glory is the biggest PPV in TNA history. I write this down in case you didn't hear it any of the 458763432765412798678656235647823698164973678563254 times they said it on this show. I'm better to you people than you deserve.
Why is Senshi teaming with the Paparazzi? If I were running TNA, I would not do this random tagging business. I'm just saying is all.
Fans chant "No More Jackass" but I'm sorry Jeff Jarrett will be back.
Fans chant for Senshi, good thing he's the babyface.
Don West was doing a damn fine impersonation of Christian Cage. Either that or Christian came out for a reason that was not explained. It is more likely the latter.
Cage badmouths Rhino on commentary, and Rhino who managed to watch this show while it was happening heard him and came out. Security was all like, "dude, no way" and Rhino was all like "Ah, you guys are so like totally lame" and Christian was all like "As if!" and the referee was all like "Oh, my gawd, like ewww, gross!" and David Penzer was all like: "shah, like you ever had a chance with that guy, he's most definitely out of your league" and Don West was all like: "This is so like the most childish conversation I've ever seen" and Tenay was all like: "I remember reading about the promos for the Gotch/Hackenschmidt match and they were exactly like this in every way but 1. The only difference were all the words were different and because sound systems were much poorer back then nobody heard them".
Commercial Break!
TNA has a big PPV or something. I'm not sure what its called or when it is. They need to do a better job of reminding us of this stuff. They mention Kurt and his Angles.
We're back and Rhino and Christian are brawling as there is also stuff happening in the ring. Its like now that the X-division is dead TNA keeps thinking of new reasons to dig it up and rebury it in a much shallower grave. TNA has no respect for dead divisions.
Hey, the fight on the outside has ended so now they're talking about the match in the ring. How dare these 6 try to have a scheduled match in the middle of an unscheduled brawl between 2 much bigger stars? You 6 need to know your place on the card! Why what would Iron Sheik say if he saw this? I don't know but it would probably involve being in Miami working for ATN and fucking Brian Blair's ass.
The crowd boos as though they were all thinking of the quality of No Surrender.
Sabin pins Devine. Nice way to build heat for a match between Sabin and Senshi. Why, Chris Sabin just pinned the Paparazzi's designated pin boy, what chance does the X champion have? Actually, I may have errored. It may have been Lethal who got the pin but then if TNA doesn't care to the point they schedule other angles during this match then I don't care who pinned Devine.
I've got something to ponder about Senshi. when Senshi loses the title will he be the X-X champion? Now if he were still in triple X he'd be XXX X-X champion and that I guess would make him the greatest X-star ever. If not that, then a messed up algebra problem.
Cornette announces LAX Vs. Styles and Daniels in TNA's signature match, 6 sides of steel. I thought Ultimate X was the signature match? Or was it King of the Mountain?
Commercial break!
Shamrock...Ortiz, the final battle. However, this is not going to be at Bound for Glory just on some TV channel, so to me it feels somehow less important than say Senshi Vs. Chris Sabin.
Taco Bell~! Commercials for TV shows that get better ratings than this one. A commercial for a movie called the Marine. I think that John Cena guy should get in to wrestling. Maybe he should call TNA if this acting thing doesn't work out?
Some yodeling, its that slimjim commercial!
Jim Cornette out in front of the crowd to continue the press conference.
Cornette calls Buff and Lex wrestling legends. He and I both just threw up in our mouths a little bit.
This press conference is better than their last one for Cage/Jarrett back in February, although it wouldn't take much and in this case it didn't take much.
Sting/Jarrett is the biggest match in company history. So when Angle/Samoa Joe happens and they call that the biggest match in history, you can be assured they are lying.
Cornette announces Angle as ringside enforcer at bound for Glory. Also he believes that's when Jarrett will lose the title. Yeah, but then when will he get it back?
Jeff Jarrett comes out for his third appearance of the night. If this were WWE fantasy he'd have earned 9 points plus 5 for a match -4 for a DQ loss and plus a bunch for weapons. I can't understand why WWE doesn't add him to the roster?
Jarrett asks Cornette if he's the boss? Who's the Boss? That was a lame TV show. Jarrett claimed that Cornette wasn't able to father him some youngin's and Cornette comments on Jarrett's erection. Yeah, Russo's back.
Jarrett attacks Luger and Buff. Samoa Joe comes to the ring and TNA decides now would be a good time to play the exit music.
This is TNA...the new something of something.
They start off by showing the Kurt Angle video from the PPV. Well, that's a good way to catch the attention of any UFC fans that couldn't find the remote.
Usual iMPACT opening:
Tonight on the show, an exclusive BFG press conference. Oh Dear, TNA never does these right.
- A lot of Pyro for this iMPACT taping.
- Jeff Jarrett Vs. Lance Hoyt
- Samoa Joe Vs. Raven
- Team 3D in action.
- Sabin/Lethal/Dutt Vs. Senshi/Paparazzi
Kurt Angle's name has now been mention six hundred times on this show.
Lance Hoyt Vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett just couldn't wait for this match to start. He means business because Joe has his belt and he can't live without his precious.
Lance Hoyt sounds like the name of an accountant or something not a 6'9 wrestler. I suggest a new name Gahndi the Giant.
Lance Hoyt got 0 offense, Jarret is holding people back! Hoyt wins, but it is Jarrett's music that plays.
Jarrett has the microphone. The crowd mixing on this show is weird. Its like there's some boos and then there are other guys that seem to be exchanging recipes.
Jarrett is giving Cornette a chance to do the right thing. Close the company?
Jarrett talks but the fans prove that they are smart by correctly pointing out that this is an Angle. Seriously, they chanted Angle, Angle, Angle.
Jim Cornette press conference. He announces Monsters Ball III: Raven/Runt/Abyss/Samoa Joe. You know, I read the spoilers, so thanks to TNA for announcing the match before we see the angles that I guess are supposed to set it up!
How this company hasn't made $10 billion this year, I'll never know.
Commercial Break!
I heard "Big Time!" again and it just reminded me how glad I am that WWE doesn't use that song for every PPV. 1 was enough and as Yogi Bear used to say: "Enough is too much!"
Austin Starr video airs. He says at BFG, TNA gets Starr struck. You see its funny because his last name is Starr and a star is a big name or...hey, a match.
Samoa Joe Vs. Raven
Ok seeing as how Tenay and West are talking about Monsters Ball, it was supposed to be revealed that way. Now the question is why? Did Cornette just pull names out of a hat and say, "Ok, you, you, you and you, monsters ball fuckers! And the winner has to kill Vince Russo for me and take the fall when all of the focus comes toward me." He may not have actually said that, the monsters ball thing is probably just something I made up.
The fans are either chanting "Joe" or "choke" or maybe its a dueling chant of "Joe, choke"
Hey, Samoa Joe won, of course Brother Runt helped. Joe can't win without a midget. TNA is stealing Fit Finlay's gimmick!
Runt slaps Joe and is one inch closer to death. Runt should never again have an offensive flurry against Joe.
Here comes The Monster James Mitchell and Father Abyss. That doesn't look quite right to me but that's why I have editors. So if you actually see that written as the Monster James Mitchell and Father Abyss it must be right.
Samoa Joe, not knowing how things work in TNA says that if Jarrett wants the title he can come get it. He's been in the company for over a year now, you'd think he'd know what Jarrett will and will not do and who will or will not be bringing him his belt?
Commercial break!
A couple of thoughts. TNA seems to have dropped the Slick Johnson/Earl Hebner storyline. I say thank you and to show how appreciative I am, no negative comments toward TNA in the next 3....words. This is the end of TNA's first year on SpikeTV. Where has the time gone? I would ask for it back but I'd probably just waste it watching shows like ECW and iMPACT again or God forbid Smackdown.
Chuck Liddell is going to be on Ultimate Fighter next week. I don't know who that Liddell guy is but if he's going to be on TUF he might be good.
TNA aired a couple of commercials. Apparently, the Sting DVD is the most anticipated DVD in TNA history. Not by me friend and I am a Sting fan. I'm all about the cooking with Gail Kim DVD that will be released on my birthday of 1/8. Now don't feel bad if you can't find this DVD in stores. There's only 1 being made and its mine.
Oh, when I was thinking of Gail Kim naked again a video of Rhino and Christian aired. This in no way stopped my train of thought on Gail.
I am however thankful for Rhino's explanation that in a street fight, anything goes. Lets hope so because last week I learned a falls count anywhere match can end in a DQ.
Team 3D Vs. the Miracle Jobber Connection.
The MJC has a slightly worse chance in this match than team USSR had in the movie Miracle against Team USA.
Crowd chants "Welcome Back" I love these people, anyone that is a fan of Welcome Back Kotter is cool with me.
Now they chant "We want tables" Jesus these guys haven't even been back for 2 minutes and you're already begging them for stuff?
Tenay and West talk Curtly about an Angle.
West says that the roof came off the place when the announcement was made, good thing Universal has insurance.
Team 3D won, as you can probably tell.
Brother Ray: We're back. No shit, I just saw you wrestle.
Crowd chants for Mr. Kotter again.
Ray tells us who they are in case we forgot. While I did try to forget it didn't quite happen.
They want the NWA world tag team titles. Well, he could go the Samoa Joe route and tell Styles and Daniels to bring them the belts.
He wants the belts when they earn the shot. Well, since wrestling is a fixed sport very few things are ever truly earned, so they'll be waiting away until death do they part.
Now he's talking about their revolution. If I were Konnan and LAX I'd kick their asses. There's only room for 1 revolution in TNA. Or at least I hope that's all their is room for in TNA.
Though with all of the revolutions taking place in TNA, I've got their next slogan.
"TNA, everyone here is revolting!" Now that's what I call truth in advertising.
Apparently, Martin Luther King Jr. will be at Bound for Glory. Either that or Sting. If you want to know which one it will be you'll have to order the show. Sure, you think MLK Jr. is dead but that's not something that would stand in a true athlete's way. Hell, death never seemed to bother the Undertaker before.
Lex Luger and Buff Bagwell say things. Luger said something that involved words, but I wasn't able to figure it out. It may have been because he was incoherent and nobody could figure it out. It may have been because I was pondering extras for that Gail Kim DVD. Here's a hint, it was the first one though I would make no apologies were it the second one.
Buff said words too but he's Buff and unless the words are "Paper or Plastic" "do you want a full tank?" or "can I super size this for you?" I could not care any less about what he has to say. Don't believe me? Come by and watch me not care on my webcam its free to join but I do require a credit card number to verify that it is you.
Commercial Break!
Damn, Luger and Buff are back. I was hoping this was a bad dream caused by food that would eventually poison me to death. This is much worse than that.
Ok, which 1 is supposed to be Lenny and which is Squiggy? I think Buff is Squiggy.
Jeremy Borash is with some guy. Jeff something, I think he's trying to be important.
Eric Young shows up. Jarrett charges Eric Young with the task of getting his belt back.
Young doesn't think he can do it. Other stuff happened as well but that's not my fault.
Paparazzi and Senshi Vs. Larry, Moe and Curly's less talented trio of younger siblings.
Bound for Glory is the biggest PPV in TNA history. I write this down in case you didn't hear it any of the 458763432765412798678656235647823698164973678563254 times they said it on this show. I'm better to you people than you deserve.
Why is Senshi teaming with the Paparazzi? If I were running TNA, I would not do this random tagging business. I'm just saying is all.
Fans chant "No More Jackass" but I'm sorry Jeff Jarrett will be back.
Fans chant for Senshi, good thing he's the babyface.
Don West was doing a damn fine impersonation of Christian Cage. Either that or Christian came out for a reason that was not explained. It is more likely the latter.
Cage badmouths Rhino on commentary, and Rhino who managed to watch this show while it was happening heard him and came out. Security was all like, "dude, no way" and Rhino was all like "Ah, you guys are so like totally lame" and Christian was all like "As if!" and the referee was all like "Oh, my gawd, like ewww, gross!" and David Penzer was all like: "shah, like you ever had a chance with that guy, he's most definitely out of your league" and Don West was all like: "This is so like the most childish conversation I've ever seen" and Tenay was all like: "I remember reading about the promos for the Gotch/Hackenschmidt match and they were exactly like this in every way but 1. The only difference were all the words were different and because sound systems were much poorer back then nobody heard them".
Commercial Break!
TNA has a big PPV or something. I'm not sure what its called or when it is. They need to do a better job of reminding us of this stuff. They mention Kurt and his Angles.
We're back and Rhino and Christian are brawling as there is also stuff happening in the ring. Its like now that the X-division is dead TNA keeps thinking of new reasons to dig it up and rebury it in a much shallower grave. TNA has no respect for dead divisions.
Hey, the fight on the outside has ended so now they're talking about the match in the ring. How dare these 6 try to have a scheduled match in the middle of an unscheduled brawl between 2 much bigger stars? You 6 need to know your place on the card! Why what would Iron Sheik say if he saw this? I don't know but it would probably involve being in Miami working for ATN and fucking Brian Blair's ass.
The crowd boos as though they were all thinking of the quality of No Surrender.
Sabin pins Devine. Nice way to build heat for a match between Sabin and Senshi. Why, Chris Sabin just pinned the Paparazzi's designated pin boy, what chance does the X champion have? Actually, I may have errored. It may have been Lethal who got the pin but then if TNA doesn't care to the point they schedule other angles during this match then I don't care who pinned Devine.
I've got something to ponder about Senshi. when Senshi loses the title will he be the X-X champion? Now if he were still in triple X he'd be XXX X-X champion and that I guess would make him the greatest X-star ever. If not that, then a messed up algebra problem.
Cornette announces LAX Vs. Styles and Daniels in TNA's signature match, 6 sides of steel. I thought Ultimate X was the signature match? Or was it King of the Mountain?
Commercial break!
Shamrock...Ortiz, the final battle. However, this is not going to be at Bound for Glory just on some TV channel, so to me it feels somehow less important than say Senshi Vs. Chris Sabin.
Taco Bell~! Commercials for TV shows that get better ratings than this one. A commercial for a movie called the Marine. I think that John Cena guy should get in to wrestling. Maybe he should call TNA if this acting thing doesn't work out?
Some yodeling, its that slimjim commercial!
Jim Cornette out in front of the crowd to continue the press conference.
Cornette calls Buff and Lex wrestling legends. He and I both just threw up in our mouths a little bit.
This press conference is better than their last one for Cage/Jarrett back in February, although it wouldn't take much and in this case it didn't take much.
Sting/Jarrett is the biggest match in company history. So when Angle/Samoa Joe happens and they call that the biggest match in history, you can be assured they are lying.
Cornette announces Angle as ringside enforcer at bound for Glory. Also he believes that's when Jarrett will lose the title. Yeah, but then when will he get it back?
Jeff Jarrett comes out for his third appearance of the night. If this were WWE fantasy he'd have earned 9 points plus 5 for a match -4 for a DQ loss and plus a bunch for weapons. I can't understand why WWE doesn't add him to the roster?
Jarrett asks Cornette if he's the boss? Who's the Boss? That was a lame TV show. Jarrett claimed that Cornette wasn't able to father him some youngin's and Cornette comments on Jarrett's erection. Yeah, Russo's back.
Jarrett attacks Luger and Buff. Samoa Joe comes to the ring and TNA decides now would be a good time to play the exit music.
My thoughts on the show: On the whole this wasn't a bad episode of iMPACT. No real good wrestling but they are doing a good job of focusing on the top matches for the PPV. The hour seemed to fly by which is most certainly not how I felt watching this show last week.
Upon further review, stupid to have Joe winning with help. Stupid to continue to treat a nice percentage of your roster like goofs, stupid to bring back Team 3D unannounced. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!
Labels: iMPACT, OCC Television Coverage, TNA
posted by Casey Trowbridge at 9/28/2006 10:06:00 PM
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