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Sunday, January 14, 2007

TNA Final Resolution Live Coverage

Welcome to a first in the OCC, tandem Live coverage of TNA's Final Resolution. I'll have a post, as will Old Country Give and Taker and there'll be more for you to read than you can shake a moderately sized stick at. The coverage will begin at 6:30 PM Central time. Remember to refresh your browser for the latest info.

Click Here for our predictions column which contains links to reviews of the past events and other such stuff.

Wade's coverage is here (link will open in a new window, so that you can view them both at the same time if you wish!

The card for tonight:

  1. Lance Hoyt Vs. Chase Stevens
  2. Last Man Standing: AJ Styles Vs. Rhino
  3. Paparazzi Championship Series: Austin Starr Vs. Alex Shelley
  4. Petey Williams Vs. James Storm
  5. X-division Title: Christopher Daniels Vs. Jerry Lynn Vs. Chris Sabin
  6. NWA World Tag Team Championship: Team 3D Vs. The Latin American Xchange
  7. 30:00 Iron Man Match: Kurt Angle Vs. Samoa Joe
  8. NWA World Heavyweight Title: Abyss Vs. Sting Vs. Christian Cage

Other notes: A.J. Pierzynski and Dale Torborg of the White Sox are in attendance. Bob Backlund will be 1 of the PCS judges and Disco Inferno is believed to be one of the other.

The Pre show starts with Raven caning Serotonin for losing a match that isn't even good enough to air on the pre show. I think its safe to say that that group sucks.
Here is something I thought funny. Imagine you're the guys in Seretonin and Russo is pitching you this angle.

Ok, see what is going to happen is that you guys are going to be Raven's followers and as a result he's going to teach you discipline by caning you whenever you lose. Oh, and you'll never win.

Worse yet is that they jobbed to a team not even on the TNA roster in the Rigs brothers formerly of OVW. Thanks to PwInsider.com for that one.

We go back to Christy Hemme who says nothing of consequence.

Back to the talking heads who talk about how you can text message your vote for who will win the Iron Man match. They're putting that new mobile service to work.

We go back to Latisha who is with Bob Backlund. He explains using big words that he is the judge for the PCS.

Next is a Rhino/AJ Styles video package for their last man standing match. Rhino cuts a promo hyping up the match.

Pre show Match: Lance Hoyt Vs. Chase Stevens
Stevens is still wearing the gear of the Newly Franchised Naturals.

Winner: Lance Hoyt
After the match Hoyt gets attacked by A.J. Pierzynski with a chair.

Shane Douglas comes out and dresses down Chase Stevens. Steven stands up to Douglas finally. It appears that they are ready to fight and that the crowd wants to see it for some weird reason.

Video package airs hyping the tag team title feud between 3D and the Latin American Xchange.

I'm coughing up a storm so this is going to be even more of a challenge to get through.

They replay the Pierzynski attack from just a few minutes ago.

Tenay and West run down the card. Apparently, the winner of Joe/Angle will face the winner of the 3-way for the title next month.

Video package for the title match followed by a Mitchell promo.

Next up is the video for the Iron Man match. I'm freezing right now so this should be fun.

Don West goes in for the hard sell of the Pay Per View, its what he does best.

TNA, We are Wrestling. If they say so. The video was pretty good according to the survey of the room.

Match 1: Last Man Standing, AJ Styles Vs. Rhino
Wade will have the play-by-play and I'll add the random comments. I do have an MSN chat that I am doing so if I seem to be distracted, that's why but really how would you know?

The crowd wasted no time with the dueling Styles and Rhino chants. Earl Hebner is your referee, can you do the Montreal finish in a last man standing match? I don't want to find out the answer to that, but I'm sure Russo does.

Talk turns to switching to the Spanish commentary, but I had to nicks that idea because I need to know if West or Tenay says something stupid.

The Pizza has arrived, I feel that you should know this.

Rhino scored a pin with a spinebuster but AJ beats the 10 count. Also New England 24
San Diego 21 very late in the game.

The weapons haven't really come in to play at this stage of the match.

At this time, I'll give a shout out to Art and Ric hope you are being entertained by my work.

Patriots win the game. Chargers choke again.

Rhino hits a gore and then he hits a second gore. Rhino goes out while the referee is counting and sets up a table.

Tenay seems doubtful that Earl will count to 10. Its almost like he expects the fix to be in. AJ fakes getting up and then sits back down to get counted out. AJ takes the loss in a complete heelish fashion to avoid more punishment. Its a smart heel thing to do but the problem is that basically AJ says it doesn't matter if you win or lose since he was willing to lose on purpose.

Winner: Rhino

Tenay and West run down the rest of the card. They are interrupted by Rhino giving AJ the Rhino-driver on the ramp. Now Rhino has his eyes on a table and goes to set it up.

Ginny made a dive for Marcus' food. This caused him to missed the attempted gore as a result. AJ moved and Rhino went through the table.

Now we have a video package hyping the 3-way x-division title feud.

Latisha is backstage with Jerry Lynn. He seems to have a problem with the term old. Well, perhaps he's so old that he'll forget all about it in a matter of moments.

Lynn says after the match, Daniels will call him teacher. Marcus says that we've got 1 teacher in wrestling and that's more than enough.

Match 2: X-division title - Chris Sabin Vs. Christopher Daniels Vs. Jerry Lynn
Crowd seems to be solidly behind Lynn in this one.

Samoa Joe is winning the text voting 61% to 39% for Kurt Angle.

The announcers point out its first pin or first submission to win this one, in contrast to the elimination match later.

I haven't taken a bite of pizza yet because of how I'm feeling. Its sitting here waiting for me but I'm not hungry. I guess that means I'll have leftovers and lots of them.

Sabin and Lynn are squaring off and Tenay mentions the ages of both of them. I haven't heard mention of the fact that Daniels is in his mid-30's. I'm not sure TNA wants people to know that.

Daniels hooks the Koji Clutch on Lynn but Sabin breaks it up. Nobody has really gone to the air yet in this match which is perfectly fine with me. I'm sure it will happen sooner or later.

In next week's football games it will be New Orleans at Chicago in the early game and New England at Indianapolis in the late contest.

The crowd starts a light "you still got it" chant for Jerry Lynn.

I've got to use the restroom so I hope VKM comes out after this match.

Crowd takes time out of their busy day to tell Chris Sabin that he sucks.

Jerry Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver but Chris Sabin steals the pin and the X-division title.

Winner: Chris Sabin

Borash is backstage with Kevin Nash and Bob Backlund. It is weird because briefly David Penzer's address to the fans in the arena is broadcast along side Nash and Backlund talking. Scott Hall's name is dropped. It was actually kind of funny.

Eric Young sneaks in and does some wacky stuff. He calls back to the Backlund for President angle from 1995. Inside for a lot of people as how many people remember that?

A video recap of the PCS, this stuff was pretty funny.

Jeremy Borash is out at the ring and introduces Nash as the founder of the PCS.

Match 3: PCS finals, Austin Starr Vs. Alex Shelley
The judges are, Samolian Joe, the Big Fat Oily Guy, and Bob Backlund. I guess Disco decided to no show. The oily guy draws horrific screams from Wade and Scott, I was too busy looking the other way.

Alex Shelley is the clear favorite in the iMPACTzone.

Nash is cracking everyone up on commentary. He insisted that his title match with Backlund felt like an hour, of course it only went 8 seconds. He makes a joke about his stamina in bed which apparently gets Don West laughing and that's not something I want to investigate.

The camera focuses on the oily guy as the room and Don West vehemently protest. Now I know why Meltzer said this show would be interesting. I'm learning to fear that word.

Nash says that Austin Starr is ahead on his score sheet. Its a good thing Shelley can't hear him.

Wade found a Nintendo emulator on the internet and 1 of the games is NES Pro Wrestling and so far, he pretty well sucks at it. This is to see if he'll read this, and because Shelley hit a Starman like dive to the floor a second ago.

Match goes the time limit.

Samolian Joe gives it to Starr.
Fat Oily Guy Gives it to...Alex Shelley
Bob Backlund goes through a sequence of points and refers to Alex Shelley as Alex Shellton. Backlund informs us that nobody pinned anyone else. This started out funny but is starting to drag.

Backlund rules it a draw.

5 minute sudden death by rules of Nash.

Alex Shelley scores 2 quick nearfalls.

Then Shelley wins the match.

Winner: Alex Shelley

There's a bit of decention after the match as you figured there would be.

Austin Starr says he didn't come to TNA to play poker, jump on pogo sticks and do limbo. He asked Senshi to come with him and does his Senshi impression. Then he slaps Senshi and then Starr piefaced Bob Backlund. That was classified as a mistake as he gets hooked in the chicken wing.

We move to a package detailing the breakup of America's Most Wanted, the injury to Chris Harris and the upsetness of Petey Williams.

Match 4: James Storm Vs. Petey Williams

Fans chant "Kill the Cowboy" and 1 fan chants, "Brokeback Mountain" and Storm takes time out of his busy day to tell him to shut up.

Interesting note on the TNA text service. Unlike at UFC 66 when they talk about texting and never gave out the number TNA has told us several times how to vote in their text poll. The poll hasn't moved that much its 60-40 Joe.

Storm gets the pin using the ropes.

Winner: James Storm
Gail tries to tell the ref about what happened, but Storm threatens her. He lays out Petey, grabs some handcuffs and a beer bottle. Gail stops him from hitting Petey with the beer bottle. Storm has Gail and she slaps him across the face. Don't you dare hurt my love you gay redneck.

Gail goes low on Storm and is a Korean house-of-fire. Now Gail has the bottle and the crowd wants her to hit Storm, but Jacqueline comes out from the crowd and attacks her. Storm hits the Death Sentence on Gail and he leaves with Jacqueline.

They show VKM's skits and in typical TNA fashion they bring up the fat guy forgetting that they just used an even fatter even oilier and even uglier naked guy.

Here come VKM out to say things. The ring music hit and I already hate this.

B.G. has the mic. He's declaring victory over the WWE in spite of the fact that nothing has happened. What did they even win?

He wishes HHH a good recovery. I'm glad to see that they didn't go the other direction.

B.G. brings up K-fed beating John Cena on Raw. Now he's bringing up the Rosie Vs. Donald match. If TNA is going to give the $1 million to charity, may I suggest the Casey Trowbridge foundation?

Apparently, the VKM war is over. TNA is talking about insulting people's intelligence, I'll give B.G. credit for saying it with a straight face. Do the words reverse followed by battle royal mean anything to you?

B.G. compares Wrestling Fans to voting Iraqis. Then he sings "We're not going to take it". Christy Hemme comes out for a yet to be explained reason.

Christy comes out and references Chyna. Apparently, Christy is about to engage in a sexism angle. Yep, Lita's name comes up its a woman's oppression angle.

Christy says she will fight to get in the ring. She wants to wrestle too. This got no pop. The crowd chants "We want wrestling" and Christy says "I do too". Well, she had that one ready. She says that this is worth losing her job over. Given her job up to this point she wouldn't lose much.

Crowd chants "Boring". I would laugh if they started chanting WWE.

Kip James plays the bad cop to B.G.'s good cop. he instructs the slut to go back to the strip club she got fired from. She's only good for 2 things as a woman.

Christy slaps Kip and B.G. holds them apart. Well, Christy showed some fire I'll give her credit for that much.

Brother Ray cuts a firey promo. LAX has done nothing without Konnan.

Match 5: NWA Tag Team Championship: The Latin American Xchange Vs. Team 3D

I had to do some minor plumbing work on my toilet but I did hear that the Spanish ring introduction has made its triumphant return. Thumbs up for that.

Match is typical tag formula at first with Homicide struggling to do anything with Ray. After awhile, LAX gets the heat and cuts off the ring using quick tags on Brother D-von.

The crowd is full of turncoats as I swear the same people chanting "1 8 7" at the early moments of this match are chanting :Lets go D-von".

3D on Homicide who wasn't the legal man. Out comes Brother Runt and it leads to 3D getting DQ'd.

So apparently, the NWA world title can change hands on a DQ, see Genesis 2006 for the precedent and yet the tag titles do not change hands on a DQ. That is stupid, but typical.

Winners: Latin American Xchange.

Borash is backstage with Samoa Joe, he didn't say anything of note.

Now we go to the video package.

Match 6: 30:00 Iron Man Match: Samoa Joe Vs. Kurt Angle
The voting was 57% for Joe, 43% for Angle.

The crowd takes time out to tell Kurt Angle that he sucks.

Talk in the early going turns to Wade and his purchase of an x-box 360.

Now we're talking movies and the New Ninja Turtles.

Samoa Joe gets Angle to tap out at about 14:10 minutes in.

Samoa Joe - 1
Kurt Angle - 0

The crowd heat for this is indicative of how badly TNA has wasted this feud. The crowd is in to the match, don't get me wrong but the first match had a zillion times more heat.

Joe taps out at about the 16:00 mark.

Samoa Joe - 1
Kurt Angle - 1

Crowd chants "You tapped out" at Joe and then "Angle sucks", will these people make up their damn minds?

Now we get the dueling "Lets go Joe, lets go Angle" chants and the crowd is really alive for the first time.

Its a good thing this isn't scheduled to go an hour.

Kurt Angle gets Joe to tap at 19:00.

Samoa Joe - 1
Kurt Angle - 2

Samoa Joe hits the Musclebuster and gets the pin, with a little over 7 minutes left.

Samoa Joe - 2
Kurt Angle - 2

Kurt Angle gets the pin at under 6 minutes.

Samoa Joe - 2
Kurt Angle - 3

Less than 5 minutes left, there are more falls in this match than I was expecting.

Joe gets a nearfall with a second musclebuster but Angle gets his foot on the rope.

A minute remains.

Joe has Angle in an ankle lock at 30 seconds.

Angle taps right at the 30:00 mark.

Announcers say, 30:01. Props to Ric for picking Angle.

Borash backstage with Sting. Sting calls Jim Mitchell the devil and the puppet master.

Video package setting up Christian, Sting and Abyss.

Match 7: NWA World Title, elimination match: Sting Vs. Christian Cage Vs. Abyss

Abyss was the first man eliminated as to show you the quality of this match, nobody was talking about it.

I have reached a decision about Russo. I have determined that he is on his own time like dog years. Thus, a 3 month long feud really lasts about 9 years. So by that logic any champion that has the belt for a month is a 3 year champion.

Mitchell returns to ringside and distracts Sting. Sting hooks the Scorpion Deathlock and Mitchell has unlocked Tomko.

Tomko breaks up the Scorpion and that gets a nearfall for Christian. Ref bump, its like a Jeff Jarrett match without Jarrett being involved. In other words its slightly better this way. Abyss is going after Tomko now. Abyss tosses Tomko in the cage and slams the door shut.

Sting gets a nearfall with Christian's Unprettier.

Mitchell tries to interfere again and Sting ends up with the Scorpion on Mitchell. This time Abyss comes to Mitchell's aid.

Christian hits a frog splash to Sting's back, revives the referee and gets the pin.

Winner: Christian Cage

So at Against All Odds, it will be Christian Vs. Angle for the title.

I hope you enjoyed the tandem coverage, let me know what you think. I'll be back later to look at the predictions and redo the standings.

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