TNA iMPACT - 02/22/2007 Recap

As I am ready to recap iMPACT tonight, first I would like to shill for the new OC Times discussion board. You can head over there by going Here this a good chance for you to get connected with knowledgeable wrestling fans, and Him as well!

This is TNA...We are, still on the air after last week's ratings.

On with the show.


We've got a ladder match tonight and a belting pot match. You know, I was just saying to myself earlier today, as I'm the only one who will talk to me face-to-face these days, I said self I think TNA needs to have more gimmick matches on each show. Of course, I was being sarcastic, but how was I expected to know that?


AJ Styles comes out to the ring. He is the most decorated wrestler in TNA history. He invented the X-division and made Ultimate X famous. He's on top of the world, just like James Cameron only with a lot less money.
He claims Elevation X is his new invention. I wouldn't brag about that just yet if I were you. Crowd tells AJ that he sucks.
AJ is going to give someone a chance to become famous. Rhino comes out and Tenay says that he never expected this. Yeah, I'm surprised that the man AJ is feuding with would answer his challenge, I mean that like never happens in wrestling.

Rhino says that AJ's latest invention is going to be responsible for the end of his career. That's what I'm afraid of actually. He's going to send Styles straight to hell, now that's what I call a stipulation match. Wonder if he got God's approval for that?

Team 3D is backstage with Borash. Brother Ray talks up the Belting Pot match, oh and for those who care what's his face from the Sopranos is with them. A very loud 3D chant is in the background of their talking.

Match 1: Team 3D Vs. The Latin American Xchange - Belting Pot match
I told you this last week but this is a lumberjack match with straps.

We're going to get the Team 3D introduction after the break.

Now would be a good time to plug the new OC Times message board which you can find Here so come sign up and join us. All of the OC times regulars keep up appearances over there.

Ok, done plugging the message board and back to the show which is significantly less important.

Team 3D told LAX last week that they just won't go away, and here I thought God answered prayers. I guess my answer to that prayer is no.

A nice loud 3D chant starts out the match. A Thesz press launches Tenay on a praise of the city of St. Louis that only makes me want to hurl. For as much as I've hated TNA these past few months, I hate St. Louis that much more year-round. I don't want to get in to all of the reasons why but lets just say one of them involves a girl and the other involves that wretched baseball team that somehow won the world series last year.

All of my St. Louis hatred has distracted me from this match. Typical throw your opponent out to the side where your friends can be found. The heat for this has actually been pretty super.

Crowd chants for tables, but I don't know how they're going to get them in a lumberjack match.

Well, it was eventually going to happen and sure enough the lumberjack factions start brawling on the floor. A diving headbutt from D-von to the gonnads of Homicide and they call for the tables. I guess God was not on their side as they had to settle for hitting the 3D and scoring the pin.

Winners: Team 3D
For a man so associated with the swerve, sometimes Russo's booking is so predictable.
The crowd made this match enjoyable though. Lets see how long this lasts?

Now, we go straight to a Sting-Abyss video package.

We're off to a commercial break. While we take a break, you should go and Register for the message board don't let the fact that Ric Gillespie posts there stop you.

A Pros Vs. Joes commercial airs, a marathon is running this Sunday.

A lockdown commercial airs for the St. Louis show. All I have to say to you citizens of St. Louis is go Braves!

Sting is speaking from a death bed or something. Ok, so now we know what a Last Rights match is. You get strapped to this symbol thing and raised in the air and die in the metaphorical sense.

JB is with Abyss but no Jim Mitchell. Hey, I bet Abyss says nothing. Yeah, he grunts and groans and Borash does the wise thing and gives up. Oh, if only Panda Energy would do the same.

Match 2: Robert Roode, Eric Young and James Storm w/Traci Brooks and Jacqi Moore Vs. B.G. James, Kip James and Lance Hoyt.

I like Eric Young, but Meatloaf once said 2 out of 3 ain't bad, well liking 1 out of 6 ain't good.

Well, we've already got more than the 1 minute of wrestling we got in last week's first half hour in the first half hour this week.

A contract signing with Scott Steiner and Kurt Angle is coming up later, it would be a tragedy if something bad happened during that time.

Hoyt is headed up top but is cut off by Robert Roode. This leads to James Storm getting the pin.

Winners: Roode, Young and Storm.
Storm and Roode celebrate, Young does not and Chris Harris comes out to run Storm off.

This was the kind of match that I don't complain about going short.

A Christopher Daniels promo airs.

Don West is in the iMPACT zone with former Raider as well as a ton of other teams Wide Receiver, Andre Rizon. West asks Rizon about Pros Vs. Joes and Rizon says something that gets bleeped.

Abyss comes out, it would be a tragedy if something bad happened to Andre Rizon. West foolishly asks Abyss if he has something to say. Andre Rizon apparently just asked for trouble because much to the protests of Mike Tenay Abyss just gave him the black hole slam.

We go to a commercial.
Time once again to plug the OC Times message board home to the Wandering Euan's Nomadic forum of Wackiness. If that's not enough to get you to register, at the end of this recap, none other than TNA announcer Don West will shill for the board.

We're back from the break and get a recap of the bad thing that just happened to Andre Rizon. Now we're back to the Kevin Nash personality makeover clinic and Jay Lethal's impressive Randy Savage impersonation.

Tenay is with Jim Cornette who is running down the card for Destination X. I am not looking forward to reviewing the Destination X 2005 PPV for the iMPACT Analysis but you should look forward to reading it.

Samoa Joe and Christian are apparently in training, but will be here next week live Cornette says. The joke will be on those 2 when they show up at the iMPACT zone next Thursday and nobody from TNA is there and the building is empty of fans. Now won't that be funny?

Tenay introduces Scott Steiner who comes to the ring for his contract signing. Tenay introduces Angle who enters the ring to co-sign the contract.

Ok, a couple of things:
1. Why do we have contract signings? Both men work for the same company.

Hold it, Cornette expects them to remain civil during this contract signing. Here I thought Cornette was a long time wrestling fan, you'd think he'd know by now.

Steiner cuts a promo on Angle. He says he'll melt down Angle's gold medal and sell it. He doesn't expect that he'll get a cup of coffee for it. Oh, see its an insider reference and I know this because Don West said: "That's not the first time Angle has heard that."

Angle calls Steiner an idiot. He said Steiner is all about the money while Angle came to TNA for noble reasons, yeah, like a failed drug test.

Hey, I know you're shocked but the contract signing broke down in to a brawl. As I said earlier, Russo is known for being the swerve-Meister but yet his booking is so predictable. A good swerve would be if a contract signing went off with no incident.

It turns out that Christian was lying because he joined in the beatdown of Kurt Angle. Steiner finishes by shoving the contract down Angle's throat. I'm not sure of the legality of that one. So I guess Christian's being there was the swerve that will make 100,000 people plus by this up coming PPV. Yeah, good luck with that.

Commercial time.
Hey, you know what I haven't done in awhile? I haven't plugged the Message board and to be honest this is the best message board I've ever plugged in this recap. If that's not true, then your money back. Hey suckers, you're reading this for free...I didn't get any money for writing this recap, so who's the sucker now? Bwahahahahahahahahahah wait a minute...

A commercial for Destination X featuring Elevation X.

Tenay calls Steiner's actions unpredictable, I can't believe he would have done such a thing. I mean when a heel asks for a public contract signing they always, always have the best interest of their opponent in mind...shame Steiner had to go and ruin it. He has ruined the name of all fine upstanding heels every where.

Match 3: Ladder match - Senshi Vs. Jerry Lynn Vs. Sonjay Dutt Vs. Jay Lethal Vs. Austin Starr
Why 5 men? Why not put Alex Shelley in to make it an even 6? West brings up Lynn's involvement in early X-division ladder matches, too bad TNA doesn't like to show footage of anything that happened before the move to Orlando.

Mr. Backlund comes out and Tenay claims to know why, right before we hit the break.

You're probably expecting that I'm going to plug the message board again, well I've swerved you because I'm not going to do that. Ha, that was a swerve too, check out the Board see my swerves are just as good as Vince Russo's. I expect a hundred sign-ups by the end of tomorrow for that 1 swerve alone. Marvel at my ability to swerve you, the audience. I still don't understand how I'm not a millionaire just from recapping iMPACT every week.

I've got no time to think about why it hasn't happened yet because we're back.

If you need to know what is happening in this match, lets just say that a lot is happening. Bodies are flying everywhere and ladders are now heavily involved.

Lynn takes out Lethal and Dutt with a double powerbomb and Senshi and Starr are battling for the X. Tenay says that Dr.'s are attending to Kurt Angle, and its very graphic so if you stay tuned after this match, you'll get to see it. Yes, that's what he said and no it doesn't make sense but really is that a shock?

In all the excitement of things, I forgot to say Jerry Lynn was the winner. That's ok though because I also forgot how he won.

Winner: Jerry Lynn

Backlund hits the ring and Starr takes exception to his presents. A few seconds later and Starr finds himself in the crossface chickenwing.

We get a remix of the Adrenalin Rush theme to close the show.

Thoughts: I over-rated last week's show, but this was definitely a marked improvement. They're still far away from producing anything I could call good with a straight face as 2 gimmick matches on 1 show and one of them being a 5 minute ladder match is still unnecessary.
I've decided a drastic measure must be taken and so I'm putting out a hit on Vince Russo. Yes, I'm taking out a hit on him. So if you see Vince Russo, hit him. If my taking out a hit on him doesn't get him to resign, then in a few months I'm going to take out a kick to his balls wearing Iron Sheik's pointy boots. You may want to stock up on pointy boots just in case.

Now, I turn this over to Don West for his pitch of the Old Country Times Message Board

Thank you Casey. Folks, you want to talk about a board. This is much better than Jim Duggan's 2X4, if you run your hands up and down this Board you're not going to get any slivers. I'm bringing this message board to you at the low-low-low price of Free! One might ask how I, Don West can get away with such a fantastic deal. Let me tell you my bosses think I've gone crazy and it isn't just because I ran down the halls last week saying 9.95!! over and over again.
I promise you fans that you're not going to find a deal like this anywhere else especially if you don't look for it.
This is a classic, it is brand new and in perfect condition. Folks, usually I'd sell this board to my mom for $300 a day but now we're offering it to you for absolutely nothing. Yes, all of This can be yours if you just act now. I'm Don West and I never say things I don't believe, and you fans should know by now I'm not the type to over hype things. So Act now! while the acting is good. This is the jumboest of jumbo boards and I am Don West thanking you for your time.