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Thursday, March 29, 2007

TNA iMPACT 03/29/07 Recap

I don't want to be here.

Listen to the old country Wrestlemania preview podcast, you won't regret it until the end. Refresh your browser for the latest stuff.

This is TNA, We are filing a lawsuit against Alan Lee for Defamation of character against everyone on earth.



A recap of the show from last week. Is this show over yet?

We go to Sting and James Mitchell and they are talking about things. Apparently, Abyss didn't shoot his dad, Abyss' mother shot him and Abyss wiped off the gun and took the fall. What the blue fucking fuck this has to do with Lockdown I don't know.

Tonight we get a preview of the Lockdown Xscape match, lucky us.

We don't waste time.

Match 1: Xscape match, Alex Shelley Vs. Petey Williams Vs. Sonjay Dutt Vs. Sharkboy Vs. Austin Starr Vs. Jerry Lynn

Eliminations occur when you are pinned or submit, until it gets down to the last 2 and then it is escape the cage. Cause you know, we can't have a simple match on these shows.

Alex Shelley was eliminated by Sharkboy. No, I'm not making that up so stop asking.

Mike Tenay just let out a scream after a toss in to the cage that sounded like he just heard the Old Country Wrestlemania Preview show.

Sonjay Dutt was the next eliminated.

A brainbuster from Starr eliminates Sharkboy.

Canadian Destroyer takes out Starr. So Lynn and Williams battle to escape the cage. If your wondering why I'm not saying much between eliminations it is because there is nothing to say.

Winner: Jerry Lynn, don't ask me how I'm really not paying that close attention.

After the match, Christopher Daniels attacks Lynn from behind with a ballbat. Daniels has new music.

Latisha welcomes Tomko back, I knew I didn't like her. Thankfully before he can say anything Christian interupts, but eventually Tomko does speak. Something about wanting a title shot or something.

Commercial Break!!! Thank God.

We're back as Team Cage comes out. Christian is still called the NWA champion, for those of you interested. It is not that I'm telling you that because I'm interested but because nothing else has been so far.

Christian on the stick. He makes Scott Steiner's joining his team official. Steiner needs no introduction but he's getting one. Christian says Steiner is the biggest baddest Booty-Daddy he's ever met. Steiner wants the title shot he deserves for losing to Kurt Angle at the last PPV.

The 4th member is out next and it is Abyss with Jim Mitchell.

AJ wants to know who the last man is, and the fans chant we want Sting. I want 9:00 PM Central time to come.

Tomko is out and talking as the fifth man and no good can come from this. He also wants a title shot, he asks for it tonight and that pops the crowd. Fuck Orlando, they should lose Wrestlemania for that shit.

Christian says he's a man of his word and will give Tomko a shot.

Just when I think this can't get anymore like a 20 minute Raw promo out comes Kurt Angle to talk his future in MMA.

Jim Cornette is out and he says this is a wrestling program, not a debate or soap-opera and his head doesn't explode, that wins him an award.

The gist of this was that tonight it is a member of Team Cage Vs. A Member of team Angle, the winner gets Tyson Tomko's services at Lockdown. I'd rather be the loser.

Commercial Break!!!
Fuck this shit, seriously.
We just got the TNA version of the worst opening 20 minute Raw promo ever, only it was in the middle of the show and felt like 20 years.

Good news though, We've cracked the top 10 podcasts in sports and recreation

We see a LAX/Team 3D promo. Even hearing from Konnan does nothing for me tonight, that aught to tell you how little I want to be here.

We're backstage with JB and Team Angle. Angle will wrestle tonight. I'm glad we're hearing from these guys, we didn't hear enough of them in the last segment.

Then we go to the best part of this show tonight...

Commercial Break!!!

Eric Young is out and I can take no more. I'm ending this recap here. You want to know what happens, you watch the damn show. You want to know my thoughts on this show, tune in to the next Casey and Euan Audio Assault and you'll hear a rant.

I feel like I'm wasting valuable keystrokes tonight.

My thoughts: Move on, and listen to the CARE/Jabroni Wrestlemania Preview show

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