5/26 Chikara results, Quack vs Hero is all kinds of great

Credit: Mark Coale/Death Valley Driver Video Review Message Board

5/26 Chikara Pro Wrestling, Hellertown PA

1. Fire Ant and Soldier Ant d. The Olsen Twins -- Before the match, The
Olsen twins were found to have brought a magnifying glass to ringside.

2. Brodie Lee d Equinox

3. Shyane Hawke d Player Uno -- Player Uno was undone by his Pause Button.
Hawke hit it right after Uno had climbed back into the ring and was an
easy pinfall victim. After the match, no one wanted to Un-Pause him, so
Uno laid in the ring until the start of the next match.

4. Worker Ant d. Hydra (w/Ultra Mantis Black). Hydra tried to claim a
pinfall on the frozen Player Uno, but the ref would have none of it.
Worker Ant won after placing Hydra inside a giant paper bag and pinning
him. After the match, Hydra continued to have problems with said bag,
still being unable to wrestle out of it.

5. Simply Marvelous Mitch Ryder d. Shane Storm.

After the match, Larry Sweeney and Chris Hero offered Ryder a chance to
join their version of the Kings of Wrestling and he accepted. This sequed
into the next match, where Sweeney teamed with a contractually-obligated
Claudio Catagnoli.

6. Pantera & Lince Dorado d. Sweeney and Castagnoli. The reluctant
partners were at odds in the beginning of the match and later at the end,
when Claudio accidentally hit Sweeney with a European Uppercut that led to
the pin. Pantera was able to get the crowd to frequently chant "LOCO" at
Sweeney and delighted in mussing Sweeney's hair at every opportunity.

7. Young Lion's Cup defense -- Max Boyer d. Create-a-Wrestler

After the match, Icarus and Gran Akuma offered Boyer a chance to join
their version of the Kings of Wrestling and he accepted. They apparently
just beat Chris Hero to the ring, who was apparently going to make the
same offer to Boyer.

8. Hallowicked d. Eddie Kingston by DQ. Kingston was DQ'ed for mask
ripping after a five-count. He even bit the stem off the top of
Hallowicked's pumpkin-style mask.

9. Icarus & Gran Akuma d. Kagrra & Dragon Yuki

10. Mike Quackenbush d. Chris Hero in an extremely stiff match, full of
chops, strikes and numerous headbutts. After hitting a double knee strike,
Quackenbush made Hero tap to a Lucha-style submission.