ECW on Sci-Fi Recap for 05/08/2007
Welcome to the Old Country Times late recap of ECW. I am not your usual host but I am going to attempt to fill in this week.
I only know one thing about this show, it can not possibly be more entertaining than TNA Today was with Don West and JB selling the deal of the day.
We start outside the building with AAE and Lashley. AAE has a message for Lashley. AAE says if Lashley enters the building and he's going to jail. If he lays a finger on AAE he will press charges.
Lashley says he's not here to cause trouble but to apologize to AAE. He then rolls AAE's wheelchair out of the way and says to the cops: "Well, I guess you guys have to arrest me."
You want to know how little WWE I watch these days? That's the first time I've heard Lashley's voice.
Lets the Bodies Hit the Floor! Then they'll be right next to the ratings.
Tazz and Joey open the show, and talk about how tonight is about preserving something. Yeah, I don't care either.
Match 1: CM Punk Vs. Marcus Cor Von
Cor Von has some real interesting music. I guess Kevin Thorn quit the New Breed last week. Yeah, I know you're disappointed.
It will be Burke and Punk at Judgment Day.
The announcers spoil Smackdown by mentioning the Edge title victory. Hope nobody that watched ECW liked to be spoiler free.
This match has a surprising lack of crowd heat for it.
I think I know why I'd rather recap TNA than ECW even for as bad as Impact can be. Impact is inherently more wacky and thus there is more to make fun of whereas ECW is just there.
BTW, when it comes to Bobby Lashley and the opening of this show, since when is it a jailable offense to enter a building?
Fun fact about this match. Punk, Cor Von and referee Mike Posey all worked for TNA.
Joey calls Punk Hardcore, Straight Edge and a fighter. So if CM Punk is straight edge does that mean that Edge is now Gay Edge or Razor Edgemon Hard Gay?
Cor Von hits the Pounce, called such by Joey and he gets the pin. He also did this with the help of Elijah Burke
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
It was a long match for my standards which keep in mind, I watch iMPACT every week but it was ok.
Joey and Tazz recap the events of Monday with Edge, Kennedy and the Money in the Bank....Bank.
We get a plug for WWE.com
This is where a commercial Break would go.
The Condemned package airs, and I guess we know if Steve Austin wrestled Spider-man, that Spider-man would not do the J.O.B.
Match 2: The Sandman Vs. Snitsky
I hope Sandman likes squash.
Sandman goes right after Snitsky as the bell rings and that just proves to not be the wisest coarse of action. A Big Boot later and Snitsky is the winner.
Yup, Sandman likes squash.
Winner: Snitsky
Tazz has the nerve to call Snitsky deceivingly quick.
We're back with the McMahon's and Umaga. They're happy for Snitsky and they say Lashley is ECW's best hope and he has no hope. Then they threaten bad things to RVD tonight and Umaga does his best Abyss which is not that good.
It is now time for Xtreme Exposey. If you'll pardon me for not getting the point of that.
A recap of the beatdown of Lashley at Backlash. We need to see Vince win the title to remind us of how great he is. Joey says that announcement will haunt him forever.
Now we get a replay of Raw and Vince announcing himself, Umaga and Shane in a rematch against Lashley. We then get a recap of the opening of tonight's show. Jesus, enough is too much in the words of Yogi Bear.
Elijah Burke promo with Matt Striker talking about things related to the New Breed.
A commercial for Raw airs.
Match 3: Brian Major Vs. Elijah Burke
Who the hell are the Major Brothers? Joey says that they used to travel around to old ECW shows. So I guess that earns you the right to wrestle now. The Major Brothers still have all the ticket stubs from all the ECW shows they saw. Apparently, they have no athletic background that qualifies them to wrestle, they just went to a lot of shows back in the day.
Elijah Experience and the Major Brother does not get the win 2 weeks in a row.
Winner: Elijah Burke
Blaaaaarg....well, at least it was Elijah.
The spirit of the Original ECW lies on the shoulders of RVD. In other words, it is fucked.
A commercial for the Wrestlemania XXIII DVD.
Thorn and Ariel are playing cards. Chaos and Turmoil are in the cards, and Thorn says his future is in fresh blood. This seems to suggest that Thorn and Ariel are splitsville. Ric is begging for her number.
Match 4: Shane McMahon, Umaga and Vince McMahon Vs. Rob Van Dam
Shane does the introductions for Umaga and then Vince. His introduction for Vince just goes on and on and on and on and on.
Gee, I wonder if RVD is gonna win?
Tazz says that the ECW title looks good around the waste of Mr. McMahon. Well, even though he's not on the headset he's on the headset in spirit.
Ok, with all of this talk of the spirit of ECw, I keep thinking that I'm going to hear the voice of TNA's Darth Vader come in and drop a few rhymes. Then, the crowd chants "We want tables" and "RVD". I'll give them this much, the crowd still is in to RVD.
RVD is in with Shane and is in control pretty well.
RVD gets his hands on Vince but before it can lead to anything Shane hits a baseball slide. Umaga then begins to lay the beatdown on him.
ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ.
Ug, just let this end please. Please?
Ok, seriously we give TNA shit all the time for things like this, since when can you be arrested for entering a building? Especially if said building is where you work? I don't think it is fair for people to give TNA shit for things like this and just let it go when WWE does the same stupid shit.
Van Dam counters the Samoan Spike of Umaga, knocks him over but then is on the receiving end of a low blow from Shane.
Tazz refers to the superplex of RVD as coming off of the tippy top rope.
A Samoan Spike from Umaga and Vince comes in and gets the pin.
Winners: Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and Umaga
Bla Bla Bla Bla bla bla bla bla bla.
I regret offering to trade with Wade this week. This show was too boring to be terrible.
My Thoughts: When thinking back on this show, the word "meh" immediately springs to mind.
I only know one thing about this show, it can not possibly be more entertaining than TNA Today was with Don West and JB selling the deal of the day.
We start outside the building with AAE and Lashley. AAE has a message for Lashley. AAE says if Lashley enters the building and he's going to jail. If he lays a finger on AAE he will press charges.
Lashley says he's not here to cause trouble but to apologize to AAE. He then rolls AAE's wheelchair out of the way and says to the cops: "Well, I guess you guys have to arrest me."
You want to know how little WWE I watch these days? That's the first time I've heard Lashley's voice.
Lets the Bodies Hit the Floor! Then they'll be right next to the ratings.
Tazz and Joey open the show, and talk about how tonight is about preserving something. Yeah, I don't care either.
Match 1: CM Punk Vs. Marcus Cor Von
Cor Von has some real interesting music. I guess Kevin Thorn quit the New Breed last week. Yeah, I know you're disappointed.
It will be Burke and Punk at Judgment Day.
The announcers spoil Smackdown by mentioning the Edge title victory. Hope nobody that watched ECW liked to be spoiler free.
This match has a surprising lack of crowd heat for it.
I think I know why I'd rather recap TNA than ECW even for as bad as Impact can be. Impact is inherently more wacky and thus there is more to make fun of whereas ECW is just there.
BTW, when it comes to Bobby Lashley and the opening of this show, since when is it a jailable offense to enter a building?
Fun fact about this match. Punk, Cor Von and referee Mike Posey all worked for TNA.
Joey calls Punk Hardcore, Straight Edge and a fighter. So if CM Punk is straight edge does that mean that Edge is now Gay Edge or Razor Edgemon Hard Gay?
Cor Von hits the Pounce, called such by Joey and he gets the pin. He also did this with the help of Elijah Burke
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
It was a long match for my standards which keep in mind, I watch iMPACT every week but it was ok.
Joey and Tazz recap the events of Monday with Edge, Kennedy and the Money in the Bank....Bank.
We get a plug for WWE.com
This is where a commercial Break would go.
The Condemned package airs, and I guess we know if Steve Austin wrestled Spider-man, that Spider-man would not do the J.O.B.
Match 2: The Sandman Vs. Snitsky
I hope Sandman likes squash.
Sandman goes right after Snitsky as the bell rings and that just proves to not be the wisest coarse of action. A Big Boot later and Snitsky is the winner.
Yup, Sandman likes squash.
Winner: Snitsky
Tazz has the nerve to call Snitsky deceivingly quick.
We're back with the McMahon's and Umaga. They're happy for Snitsky and they say Lashley is ECW's best hope and he has no hope. Then they threaten bad things to RVD tonight and Umaga does his best Abyss which is not that good.
It is now time for Xtreme Exposey. If you'll pardon me for not getting the point of that.
A recap of the beatdown of Lashley at Backlash. We need to see Vince win the title to remind us of how great he is. Joey says that announcement will haunt him forever.
Now we get a replay of Raw and Vince announcing himself, Umaga and Shane in a rematch against Lashley. We then get a recap of the opening of tonight's show. Jesus, enough is too much in the words of Yogi Bear.
Elijah Burke promo with Matt Striker talking about things related to the New Breed.
A commercial for Raw airs.
Match 3: Brian Major Vs. Elijah Burke
Who the hell are the Major Brothers? Joey says that they used to travel around to old ECW shows. So I guess that earns you the right to wrestle now. The Major Brothers still have all the ticket stubs from all the ECW shows they saw. Apparently, they have no athletic background that qualifies them to wrestle, they just went to a lot of shows back in the day.
Elijah Experience and the Major Brother does not get the win 2 weeks in a row.
Winner: Elijah Burke
Blaaaaarg....well, at least it was Elijah.
The spirit of the Original ECW lies on the shoulders of RVD. In other words, it is fucked.
A commercial for the Wrestlemania XXIII DVD.
Thorn and Ariel are playing cards. Chaos and Turmoil are in the cards, and Thorn says his future is in fresh blood. This seems to suggest that Thorn and Ariel are splitsville. Ric is begging for her number.
Match 4: Shane McMahon, Umaga and Vince McMahon Vs. Rob Van Dam
Shane does the introductions for Umaga and then Vince. His introduction for Vince just goes on and on and on and on and on.
Gee, I wonder if RVD is gonna win?
Tazz says that the ECW title looks good around the waste of Mr. McMahon. Well, even though he's not on the headset he's on the headset in spirit.
Ok, with all of this talk of the spirit of ECw, I keep thinking that I'm going to hear the voice of TNA's Darth Vader come in and drop a few rhymes. Then, the crowd chants "We want tables" and "RVD". I'll give them this much, the crowd still is in to RVD.
RVD is in with Shane and is in control pretty well.
RVD gets his hands on Vince but before it can lead to anything Shane hits a baseball slide. Umaga then begins to lay the beatdown on him.
ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ, ZZZ.
Ug, just let this end please. Please?
Ok, seriously we give TNA shit all the time for things like this, since when can you be arrested for entering a building? Especially if said building is where you work? I don't think it is fair for people to give TNA shit for things like this and just let it go when WWE does the same stupid shit.
Van Dam counters the Samoan Spike of Umaga, knocks him over but then is on the receiving end of a low blow from Shane.
Tazz refers to the superplex of RVD as coming off of the tippy top rope.
A Samoan Spike from Umaga and Vince comes in and gets the pin.
Winners: Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and Umaga
Bla Bla Bla Bla bla bla bla bla bla.
I regret offering to trade with Wade this week. This show was too boring to be terrible.
My Thoughts: When thinking back on this show, the word "meh" immediately springs to mind.
Labels: ECW, OCC Television Coverage, WWE
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