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Sunday, May 13, 2007

TNA Wrestling's 'Sacrifice' 2007 (05/13/2007): Live Ramblings

Yes, it is that time of month again when you join us for another TNA Wrestling PPV. This month is Sacrifice and we've got 2 reports for the price of 0. I'll be doing a rambling commentary, while Wade will be along with a play-by-play oriented piece. Given the amount of buzz for this show, I think half the people watching are giving the reports for this here blog while the other half will also be in this room. Nobody in TNA is on drugs because if they were this show would get a better buzz.


The CARE preview is here, and the only other interesting thing of note is that TNA is expected to debut their new championship belts as early as tonight. Tonight looks like a good card on paper, but you don't have wrestling matches on paper...at least not yet.


I'll have comments posted at the conclusion of each match. Refresh your browser for the latest and join us at 7:30 PM ET, 6:30 PM CT for the start.



Sacrifice Preshow. If you were one of the 3 people to watch the road to Sacrifice last night, then you saw this Preshow. Marcus, Wade and Scott all went to subway. I am broke so will be eating things that I have in my refrigerator.

It is weird watching Christy Hemme host this show given her involvement in an angle, and not even showing a hint of what her persona is supposed to be.

Vince McMahon said in his investor's meeting that he doesn't think they have too many titles because he feels you get more bang for your buck. Well, Vince needs to learn the same lesson about titles that TNA needs to learn about stipulation matches. If every match is a title or stipulation match then none of them stand out as more important.

As a reminder here is the bout order for tonight:

  1. TNA X-Division champion Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal
  2. Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode
  3. Rhino vs. Christopher Daniels
  4. Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Basham & Damaja
  5. Chris Harris vs. James Storm - Texas Death Match
  6. Jerry Lynn vs. Alex Shelley vs. Tiger Mask IV vs. Senshi
  7. NWA Tag Team champions Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner & Tomko vs. LAX
  8. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles
  9. NWA champion Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sting.


We're getting close to show time and I don't mean Eric Young...

TNA...We are wondering if anyone is watching this show.

Darth Vader is in the house and he's dropping rhymes. He reminds us that TNA wrestlers are not gods. I wonder who was confused enough that this needed to be revealed? They're mortals who do stuff or something.

How'd you like to have a dinner with David Sahatti? If he talks the way he writes then that could be one very long discussion.

As I'm doing ramblings for this show, they may not be as frequent if I decide to cook my dinner. Will I wait until the show is over before I eat? Tune in to Nitro to find out.

We open with pyro and the like and the iMPACT zone crowd is pretty well...not psyched at the start.

Match 1: X-division title: Sonjay Dutt Vs. Black Machismo Vs. Chris Sabin

Neither Dutt or Black Machismo have ever held X-gold. Machismo comes out first. I know that people like Wade Keller will bitch about the X-division title's placement on the card, and maybe you could've opened with the 4-way but at least this will be fast-paced and at least its Black Machismo.

Every time I hear from Don West I will think of last thursday's TNA Today and I will smile because that was damn awesome. Like a case of your finest mustard awesome.

I have a theory that I posed in the predictions and we'll see how well it holds. I maintain that TNA knows 2 and only 2 finishes for 3-way title bouts. The Champion wins, or 1 challenger pins the other to screw him over. Lets see if I'm correct.

Sabin Dutt and Lethal were 3/4 of Team USA during the last world X-cup. Lets see if this is mentioned. I'm putting the odds at about a zillion to 1.

I'm thinking about how many times I will need to type the words "ref" and "bump" in that order tonight. I'm wondering if I shouldn't just put it on the clip board so I can copy/paste for my own convenience.

Ok, so the discussion was just on how we're doing 2 blog posts. I have decided that what I am doing is an audio commentary that I am writing down. Oh, and when I said this I followed it with...I should write that done. As you can guess, I took my own advice.

The crowd is easy to impress early, I am asking if this will last. I'll let you know in say the Texas Death or VKM match.

Ok, the 2 dudes that were just chanting "This is awesome" and they need to better coordinate with the rest of the crowd.

Hold it! Stop the Blog!!! We just saw TNA's Mascott "Stomper". This raises a few questions:
1. When the hell did TNA get a mascott?
2. Why the hell does TNA need a mascott?
3. Why is his named Stomper?

I'm reeling from this. Stomper has made me lose my train of thought. I need to know when this Mascott debuted? I need to know if this is as bad as Wild Cat Willie. Anyone that attends iMPACT tapings want to contact me and tell me how long he's been around? I'll stop making fun of you guys for at least a report or a half.

Ok, I hate the name TNa, I really hate it. However, I'll say this much for it. At least you can easily chant it. I mean have you ever tried chanting WWE or WCW? This is why when all those ECW marks say "Well, people chant ECW still". It is only because ECW is a name you can chant easily. If WCW lent itself to a chant, you'd still have fans chanting it, I'm sure of it. I know this because I'd be the guy.

When an announcer like don West says this is for all the marbels in the X-division...I wonder if Marbels are still valuable somewhere that I don't know about?

A pretty nice sequence of nearfalls took place in this one, but if you cared about that, you could read it in Wade's recap.

Winner: Chris Sabin

Yes, this was champion retains and I'm kind of disappointed by this. Wait, Don West said that Sabin knows he shouldn't be walking away with the belt but why? The man did get the pin by following the rules.

A brawl breaks out and Grampa Munster...AKA Kevin Nash comes out to break it up. Dutt hits a cheap shot and Machismo's music hits even though Sonjay prevailed.

A Robert Roode interview. Apparently he is unfamiliar with the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution because he still claims that he owns Eric Young. It doesn't quite work that way, but then again how many people are aware that its the thirteenth amendment?

Nash is still in the ring and says something. Then, Don and Mike run down the card for a show I already purchased. Seriously, TNA, stop it. I know the card, I bought the fucking show. Quit it, quit it, quit it, quit it, quit it! For the love of Christ stop this practice, I know what matches I'm going to see, how the hell do you think I decided to buy the show?

We see something from earlier in the day with VKM getting attacked by Damaja and Basham.

Apparently, we've got a new medical diagnosis. Super-severe because B.G. has a super-severe concussion.

We see a video package for Roode-Jarrett. This would not be so bad if not for the fact I saw this package 3 times in the last half hour.

Match 2: Robert Roode Vs. Jeff Jarrett

I've suddenly got a great desire to go for a walk.

I do want to take one minute to say that no matter what you may think of Jarrett personally, or Jarrett the business man I hope nothing but good things for the Jarrett family as his wife Jill fights her illness. On mother's day, think of the fact that Jill and Jeff have 3 young children from the ages of 3 to 11.

Ok, I just heard the iMPACT zone crowd cheer for Jeff and that's weird and will be for quite some time.

One thing that hasn't changed about Jeff is his match involving crowd brawling. This time Roode kicks it off before the bell rings and the match begins in ernest.

The discussion turns to the term "Paint brushing", and how common it is. Wade and I've heard that term forever, and Marcus had never heard it before tonight.

I'm hungry.

I just don't care about Robert Roode. I know a lot of people think he's a future star but I just don't see it. He's a good lower-card hand I think and while there's nothing wrong with that in my view, people project him for higher. Someone that feels this way, please explain to me what it is that makes you feel that way?

The Mascott is back, and I think I just figured it out. Eric Young is the Mascott. People call him the TNA Mascott and I think TNA is taking it litterally. As this is a prediction, I'm going to post it now before the match is over so you can see if I'm right or very wrong.

You know what's my biggest problem tonight? I keep wanting to write right as write and that's not right.

The crowd chants we want Eric. I bet Stomper is happy to hear this.

Ok, so Ms. Brooks is outside and trying to get Roode back in the ring. She does this by clapping the mat. Yeah, I know I shouldn't wonder about things like this. Don West called a low blow, a "shot to the nads". I love this man.

Jarrett had Roode in the figure-4 and I never felt like that was even close to the finish.

Roode removed the turnbuckle pad and I'll bet it was much easier to do that than to put together that stupid WWE replica ring.

Stroke for Jarrett. West, "Jarrett hits the stroke and you can feel it". If this is true, head to the hospital. TNA causing stroke like symptoms is a bad sign.

Roode has handcuffs and given the relationship with Ms. Brooks...I don't wanna know. West repeatedly says it is over, so that means that it is not...and it wasn't.

Frustration is on the face of Roode. Why is he watching iMPACT on a portable TV?

Roode actually gets the pin. Well, my predictions are officially starting out fucked.

Winner: Robert Roode

Young is not stomper...0 for 3.

Mike Tenay gives a lesson on bonding with friends.

Christian is with Latisha. She talks...booo! He talks....Yay!

Scott Steiner says his partner is not here yet...this is great news. Christian says he is the NWA champion, so I'm thinking the belt change comes tomorrow.

Match 3: Rhino Vs. Christopher Daniels

I still say that Daniels is hoping to get Sting's paycheck and that's why he's dressing this way.

This match did not get a video package and it is because...they did nothing really to set this up with the acception of Daniels attacking Rhino twice and getting an ass beating as a result of the second time.

This match is not causing much inspiration. In other words, I'm putting as much thought in to ranting right now that TNA put in to the build up for this.

I just realized something horrible. There will be a 2 week build for One Night Stand. Judgment Day is May 20 and One Night Stand is June 3.

I care less about Chris Daniels now than I did before the new gimmick. Not exactly the ringing endorsement that TNA was looking for I'm sure.

Daniels won, and I don't care how. I was too busy talking about a potential bout order for Judgment day.

Winner: Christopher "Sting" Daniels

Rhino didn't come here to lose, well...he did, and he's going to kick ass.

So wait a minute, Don West just declared a Rhino Driver off the second rope could kill Daniels. Then when security comes before it can be hit...he gets pissed.

A video package airs for my favorite feud ever, behind all the other ones, Christy Hemme and VKM.

Match 4: VKM Vs. Basham and Damaja

Kip James just declared that forfeit is not in his vocabulary. Yet he used it in context. It may not be in mine as I sure as hell can't spell it.

B.G. is not out for this match. It occurs to me that if they were going to pick one member of VKM to wrestle...they probably picked the wrong one.

It was a pretty quick and painless match that the team of Damaja and Basham.

Winners: Basham and Damaja

Texas Death is up next as we're talking trademarking of names specifically old tag teams like The Minnesota Wrecking crew and The Freebirds.

Latisha is with Chris Harris. She talks again and Kramer, you break my heart.

Match 5: Chris Harris Vs. James Storm

This match is like 8 minutes old and I've not written anything. NewsRadio quoting takes priority. Both men are bleeding and that's all you need to know. Wade is writing more I'm sure, but all you need to know is both are bleeding.

These guys had a lot to prove after last month's disaster. So far, it has been successful.

Ok, Harris got the final fall and the win. The announcement of this takes 10 seconds before the count.

Winner: Chris Harris

Then we get a Sting interview and I think he had Mic problems or something.

Match 6: Tiger Mask IV Vs. Jerry Lynn Vs. Alex Shelley Vs. Senshi

West says we need to keep an eye on Senshi's feet...I'm afraid that means he kicked me in the eye.

This match has got 2 guys in the ring and 2 on the apron. This will not last. Tenay is in his glory running down the history of Tiger Mask. The history stuff is his strong point, not Crash TV.

Why is everything in the world "snapped off"?

Nobody predicted a victory for Jerry Lynn, so of course...he won.

Winner: Jerry Lynn

Mr. Backlund comes out in the post match activity.

Match 7: Team 3D Vs. LAX Vs. Steiner and Tomko

Tomko got to cut a promo, Steiner got to cut a promo...but Konnan, a better talker than both of them got to say nothing. It is called priorities people. 3D didn't get to talk either but who cares? I was hoping Konnan would do commentary, but it was not to be. Discussion in the room is that Hector looks like an older version of Eddie Guerrero.

Oh, there's a match I'm not really writing about. No, it is not because of NewsRadio quotes. This time, its Friends.

Winners: Team 3D

The team of Steiner and Tomko ended up turning on each other in the end. If this ends up being a match, I will cry.

Ok, Rick Steiner showed up and that was ironic, since we were discussing what became of him earlier tonight.

Kurt Angle promo and he calls Sting Ronald McDonald.

Video for Styles and Joe airs.

Match 8: Samoa Joe Vs. AJ Styles

Ric Gillespie just hopped on to messenger, so hi, Ric!

I've been talking to Ric, eying the NBA score and trying to pay close attention to this match. The match has been the least of the priority. However, the guys in the room seem to be enjoying it.

Samoa Joe won.

Winner: Samoa Joe

I'll have to watch the match again to decide how I feel about it. Actually though, all of the finishes on the show have been good and the booking has been decisively non-Russo like but we'll see if that carries into the main event.

Match 9: Sting Vs. Kurt Angle Vs. Christian Cage

Match starts out with Christian being his wacky self and we're all fine by that. Sting and Angle fought for awhile while Christian was on the floor. Apparently, the title match is supposed to be about the title. This is news to us. I thought it was about raping corpses of dead girls or shooting your dad in the back and framing your mom or something like that but reversed.

We went the whole card without a ref bump and we finally got a sort of ref bump in the main event.

Ok, well we've went the whole show without a screwy finish but it didn't last, we got a pin and a submission at the same time.

Angle was declared the winner, but I bet that doesn't last.

Winner: Kurt Angle

This was actually a pretty solid show overall, and everyone worked hard. Too bad nobody cared about it going in.

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