Roundtable Recap: UFC 72
Today's roundtable was not without problems which we'll get to in a moment.
Theoretically, the standings should look like this.
1. Ric Gillespie (8-0)
2. Euan Taylor (7-1)
2. Wade Wallenstein (7-1)
4. Casey Trowbridge (6-2)
4. Scott Liedle (6-2)
6. Art Shimko (4-4)
Why do I say theoretically? Well, the post predictions column drug test results are in (our labs work fast) and it seems that there has been an unexpected rash of failures around the Old Country.
Click behind the cut for more.
First up, the drug results for Euan Taylor came back. It is not surprising that Euan was found to have high levels of mustard in his system, but he also tested positive for being a lazy bastard who doesn't deserve the vacation he's on, and for having an accent that is worthy of the fun Ric and I make at his expense. Trace levels of sheep hormones were discovered as well, but not as much as you'd expect.
Next up is Wade Wallenstein, who tested positive for being a lucky guesser and for being driven mad by all the ECW he used to have to cover on the site.
Scott Liedle didn't test positive for anything, but still managed to fail the test anyway...cause he fails every test he's ever taken.
Art Shimko. Art's test came back positive for lots of drugs, in fact the lab found his urine sample to contain nothing but drugs...and no amount of urine was actually found. Either Art was really busy last night or sent in the wrong vile and quite frankly it actually could be both.
Ric Gillespie...elevated Estrogen levels were found, and when asked about it, he admitted to taking pink pills to try and cover it up. He also tested positive for "Ponk little gay", and "Vorse than Hulk Hogan" but this is explained by his nearly constant companion Sheiky!
Mysteriously, yours truly was not drug tested. I don't know how this happened because I'm the one in charge of making sure everyone is tested. I think it is because I'm not in a country with an athletic commission I couldn't find the legal something or rather to do the thing that would allow myself to be tested. Its the same kind of situation that made Melvin Guillard wish he had fought at UFC 70 instead of Fight Night 9 back in April.
The OCAC has ruled that all who failed the drug test are suspended from making predictions for a period of 10 seconds and are docked 1,000 percent of their $0.00 purse that they usually get for making picks. Its tough but highly unfair.
The Commission is still trying to decide if these picks should be stricken from the record. They're still trying to decide who's performance was enhanced by their particular failures, and they've not yet found a big enough whore to sleep with them all to make that determination. Maybe when Paris Hilton gets out of jail.
Perhaps the guilty parties will comment on their plite in the comments section of this post.
Theoretically, the standings should look like this.
1. Ric Gillespie (8-0)
2. Euan Taylor (7-1)
2. Wade Wallenstein (7-1)
4. Casey Trowbridge (6-2)
4. Scott Liedle (6-2)
6. Art Shimko (4-4)
Why do I say theoretically? Well, the post predictions column drug test results are in (our labs work fast) and it seems that there has been an unexpected rash of failures around the Old Country.
Click behind the cut for more.
First up, the drug results for Euan Taylor came back. It is not surprising that Euan was found to have high levels of mustard in his system, but he also tested positive for being a lazy bastard who doesn't deserve the vacation he's on, and for having an accent that is worthy of the fun Ric and I make at his expense. Trace levels of sheep hormones were discovered as well, but not as much as you'd expect.
Next up is Wade Wallenstein, who tested positive for being a lucky guesser and for being driven mad by all the ECW he used to have to cover on the site.
Scott Liedle didn't test positive for anything, but still managed to fail the test anyway...cause he fails every test he's ever taken.
Art Shimko. Art's test came back positive for lots of drugs, in fact the lab found his urine sample to contain nothing but drugs...and no amount of urine was actually found. Either Art was really busy last night or sent in the wrong vile and quite frankly it actually could be both.
Ric Gillespie...elevated Estrogen levels were found, and when asked about it, he admitted to taking pink pills to try and cover it up. He also tested positive for "Ponk little gay", and "Vorse than Hulk Hogan" but this is explained by his nearly constant companion Sheiky!
Mysteriously, yours truly was not drug tested. I don't know how this happened because I'm the one in charge of making sure everyone is tested. I think it is because I'm not in a country with an athletic commission I couldn't find the legal something or rather to do the thing that would allow myself to be tested. Its the same kind of situation that made Melvin Guillard wish he had fought at UFC 70 instead of Fight Night 9 back in April.
The OCAC has ruled that all who failed the drug test are suspended from making predictions for a period of 10 seconds and are docked 1,000 percent of their $0.00 purse that they usually get for making picks. Its tough but highly unfair.
The Commission is still trying to decide if these picks should be stricken from the record. They're still trying to decide who's performance was enhanced by their particular failures, and they've not yet found a big enough whore to sleep with them all to make that determination. Maybe when Paris Hilton gets out of jail.
Perhaps the guilty parties will comment on their plite in the comments section of this post.
Labels: Drug issues, Drug Testing, Predictions, Roundtable Previews, UFC 72
posted by Casey Trowbridge at 6/16/2007 06:22:00 PM
9 Comments:
I'm gonna be honest. In the days before to the show, I was often hanging around at Chippendale's and with sewing clubs. I also attended "Take Your Daughter to Work Day," despite not having a daughter or job. I was told to take these little, pink pills, but I forget what they were called. I only did it to decrease my levels of estrogen, but something went wrong. If I were to kiss Mark Danger on the lips, would that prove how manly I am?
I knew I shouldn't have snorted Keith Richards' father's ashes a week ago...~!!!
Since you were honest, the OCAC may have to impose a harsher penalty...with them, honesty is the worst policy.
If you kiss Mark Danger on the lips, you may end up having to take more pills, only this time as perscribed, but that could lead to yet more drug test failures, so really its a double edged sword and no, I'm not talking Floyd Sword. Nobody's talking floyd Sword...so why'd who ever brought him up in the first place bring him up?
Yeah, reading my writing...it really is ashame that I was mysteriously the only one not tested.
"I knew I shouldn't have snorted Keith Richards' father's ashes a week ago...~!!!"
Yeah, but at that point you had a six week streak of snorting those ashes and I could understand why you'd not want to break a good habbit.
Well, I could always try bribery, couldn't I? I've heard that can get me very far with the OCAC. I may be a liar, thief, idiot, etc., but I'd never want anyone to think I'm a cheater.
It depends on the bribe. They might go easier on you if you can obtain for them, the drugs you tested positive for. They want them for...research or something.
As soon as my time of the month... I mean, headache... I mean, illness passes, I'll see what I can do about providing those pills.
You're the only guy? I know who's time of the month? has lasted for decades.
Since you were honest, the OCAC may have to impose a harsher penalty...with them, honesty is the worst policy.
So WWE hates liars and the OCAC hates honesty?? I love this business.
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