NFL: NFC North Division Preview

Part 2 in our series previewing the National Football League

NFC East

Division Overview: The NFC North is the Division that good football has forgotten. Last year the combined division record was 29/35 placing it a game ahead of both the NFC West and AFC East. Trust me, they won't finish ahead of either of those Divisions this season.
I'm going to compare this division and the teams in it to a refrigerator of food. I'm going to do this because it is my goal to have a preview of the division that is more entertaining than the actual division itself.


Chicago Bears

• 2005 record: 11/5 (First Place)
• Click Here for Roster & Depth Chart
  
• Key Question: Is there any way possible for the Bears to screw this up and not win this division? Fact is that it would be a tall order to mess up this badly but this is the NFC North after all so we're not saying its an impossibility.
  
• Team Strength: The defense is pretty good, and the competition is pretty bad.
  
• Team Weakness: I'm not a big fan of the Quarterback position in Chicago, nor am I big on the rest of the offense either but they won't need much to win this division.
  
• Refrigerator: The Bears are the 2-day-old leftovers in your refrigerator. They're fine, a solid choice overall, not what you would consider the best food, but they become much more appealing when you see the rest of your refrigerator's contents.
  
• Outlook: Unless lightning strikes the entire team dead, I don't see how they could possibly not win this division. They'll be the loan representative from this division and get waxed in their first playoff game, just like last season.

Detroit Lions

• 2005 Record: 5/11 (third place)
• Click Here for Roster & Depth Chart
  
• Key Question: Will the third hand-picked Matt Millen Head Coach be any better than the previous 2? Could it possibly get even worse?
  
• Team Strength: They're not the Packers. Oh, and Kevin Jones and Roy Williams are pretty good and you could do worse than John Kitna at QB, I mean they could still have Joey Harrington.
  
• Team Weakness: Intelligence, Matt Millen once traded his brain for 2 chicklets and a dirty sock with a hole in the toe, this was believed to be the last trade he got the better end of.
  
• Refrigerator: The Lions are Milk that is 2 days past the expiration date. You know that something bad is inside the jug, so its best to just toss it out with opening the cap to see how bad it smells. If you think that's a harsh description, let me put it to you like this. I know of at least 1 Lions fan, who if he reads this will tell me that I was too generous towards the team and too hard on the milk. It has been just that bad for just so long.
  
• Outlook: They could finish last in the division this year, but I think there is a team in their own division that is actually worse than the Lions. Another third place finish.

Green Bay Packers

• 2005 Record: 4/12 (forth place)
• Click Here for Roster & Depth Chart
  
• Key Question: What week of the season will be Bret Favre's last as a living human being? If a team sucks in the middle of Wisconsin and everyone in town still goes to see it, doesn't that prove that you'd be better off leaving Wisconsin?
  
• Team Strengths: They have a loyal fanbase. Aman Green is good when not fumbling and Charles Woodson will be ok until that first hangnail sidelines him for 10 months right around oh, week 2.
  
• Team Weakness: 2 rookie guards starting and trying to protect Bret Favre, I bet he starts tossing interceptions on purpose in the second half of the first game just to preserve himself. That's the biggest weakness but we'll just toss on everything else to keeep this one short.
  
• Refrigerator: Green Bay is the mystery food. It has been in the refrigerator for so long that it is no longer what it started out as, in fact you don't even remember what it is. The only reason you haven't tossed it out yet is because you're scared of being attacked. It has an unpleasant demeanor about it that suggests that it would just be better for you to leave it alone.
  
• Outlook: Top 5 draft choice, easily. Possibly even the first overall pick.

Minnesota Vikings

• 2005 Record: 9/7 (Second Place)
• Click Here for Roster & Depth Chart
  
• Key Question: Can the Vikings avoid another love-boat incident? Will they regret trading Daunte Culpepper?
  
• Team Strengths: Coaching Upgrade, Mike Tyse was a complete idiot head coach. The Steve Hutchison signing was a good one.
  
• Team Weakness: I wouldn't say weakness in terms of the Vikings, what they are is vanilla in every way possible. If Brad Johnson gets hurt they're screwed, especially if he gets hurt after they've had a chance to victimize Detroit and Green Bay.
  
• Refrigerator: The Vikings are Ketchup. There's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't make a good dinner all by itself. In other words when you see the rest of what we found in the NFC North Refrigerator, the Ketchup is just kind of there. That sums up Minnesota pretty well.
  
• Outlook: Second place almost by default. The Vikings are the reason this division will be worse than last year and the worst in football. The Vikings are a worse team than they were last season whereas Chicago may be a bit better, Detroit is about the same and Green Bay is a flaming trainwreck.

Projected Finish:

1. Bears
2. Vikings
3. Lions
4. Packers