OCC Live Blogging~! - TNA Knockouts DVD

I'm not really feeling the best, I'm kind of bored and cranky I haven't had much sleep and have a funky after taste in my mouth from the Burger King Onion Rings last night.

So, I have decided that means I'm in the perfect mood to review the TNA Knockouts DVD. The link in the title of this post will take you to the Highspots.com page for the DVD should you for some reason want to own it.

Before I get to my thoughts on the DVD as I watch it, lets look at the description shall we?

KNOCKOUT BONUS OFFER:
Add any of our Shoot Interviews with TNA Knockouts listed above for only $10 more! Add from the Bonus Offer dropdown menu. Offer not valid if ordered
separately.

This is the TNA DVD release every red-blooded male has been waiting for the lovely knockouts of Total Nonstop Action! The sexy femme fatales of TNA Wrestling
Christy Hemme, Traci, Gail Kim and Jackie are guaranteed to heat up your screen as they show off their sensual curves in and out the ring!
List of 6 items
• Video of the ladies almost baring-all in bikinis!
• See the Knockouts kicking butt inside the ring!
• Interviews with Christy, Traci, Gail and Jackie!
• Exclusive footage of Christy's first night in TNA!
• An introduction of ringside vixen SoCal Val!
• All this and more!!!
list end
Christy Hemme - Got a thing for red heads? They don't come any sexier than Christy Hemme! Prior to joining TNA Wrestling, Christy Hemme graced the cover
of Playboy as their Playmate in April 2005. Also a star of the popular Lingerie Bowl, this fiery vixen is one of the most popular babes in Professional
Wrestling today!
Traci - You'll fall in love with this buxom brunette the second you set eyes on her! Traci has been a part of TNA since 2003, becoming a successful manager
for several wrestling stars. After all, who wouldn't be motivated with herein their corner? But, don't be fooled by her stunning beauty - shes not afraid
to use her amazing assets to get what she wants!
Gail Kim - A former womens wrestling champion as well as an international fitness model, Gail Kim is just as lethal as she is sexy! A master of submission
style wrestling, Gail has trained with some of the best in the sport of wrestling during her in-ring career. Incredibly persuasive, but highly volatile,
Gail Kim can mix it up with the best!
Jackie - Everyones All-American beauty, Jackie was voted by TNA fans as Knockout Of The Year in 2005! A former track and field star, this stunning blond
isn't afraid to use her athletic prowess to catfight in the ring. Outspoken with plenty of attitude, Jackie is definitely one beauty
you don't want to say the wrong thing to!

For those interested, I swear I didn't write that nor did I change one word.



Some generic music is on the menu and plays to open the DVD.

I realize that its a Knockouts DVD and that the focus is supposed to be on what you see, but god this music sucks.

Either this singer ordered 2 big macs a supersize fries and 3 strawberry shakes, or I don't know what he's saying.

Oh yeah, the music is playing over highlights of the featured stars of this DVD in TNA.

Now the musicians are trying to do their best Metallica impersonation, from the song "one" but its not quite working out as well for them.

First up Gail Kim~!

• Grew up in Toronto, she has a sister that is 3 years older than she.
  
• Her sister was musically inclined and she was the athlete.
  
  
• She said she loves to get physical and I think I just misplaced about 10 minutes of my life, must've been a blackout.
  
  
• She says that her parents let her do things you'd think they wouldn't let her do (OCC question: like kill for money?) and wouldn't let her do things you'd think they'd not have a problem with (OCC Question: like breathe?)
  
  
• She has/had? lots of piercings and she has apparently swallowed them twice (her talking about piercings reminds me about the guy I had physics lab with in college. Lets just say he had his member pierced and move on with our lives as best we can)...
  
  
• on her first night of wrestling school she met Traci Brooks who she helpfully points out works with her now.
  
  I'd just like to point out that of all the knockouts profiled so far, Gail is my favorite. Ok, so there's only been 1 but we won't let small technicalities get in the way.
  
  
• Gail and Traci have a lot in common. Got that, remember this if they should ever feud.
  
  
• She signed with TNA after Scott D'Amore called...I got a feeling she's not the only one...wait a minute, we jumped from wrestling school to her signing with TNA. It feels like there is something missing here, but I can't quite think of what it might be, perhaps its a part of her life that is covered by a blackout like the one I suffered after she said she loved to get physical?
  
  
• She did say she grew up as a wrestling fan which would probably explain why the WWE fired her...they don't like to employ people that have a knowledge of wrestling. Wise strategy on their part, don't employ people that can tell when your company is sucking hard.
  
  
• She said she was obsessive in her early 20's and she couldn't miss any night of wrestling. Hey, I know the feeling, I watched WCW Saturday Night when it was the C-show for crying out loud. Perhaps she and I could discuss our addiction and possible treatments over dinner?
  
  
• She says a lot of people she went to high school and university with that she runs into now think its so cool that she's a wrestler. I wonder if they say that when she leaves? I wonder if they ask her why they don't see her on Raw, and when she tells them she works for TNA, I wonder how many people really think she's an exotic dancer or something? I also wonder why I wonder these things.
  
  
• She's talking about the Knockout photo shoot and the clothes she wears and I think I just have another half an hour I can't account for.
  
  
• She just said she likes to walk around naked....Best TNA DVD ever. To quote the Iron Sheik: "That was a great feeling I had all time all my life," She likes to cook naked and do her chores naked and she says that's enough of that...I would have to disagree.
  
  
• Her most embarrassing moment in TNA: Talked about walking down the isle with Jeff Jarrett and the front of her outfit coming up and her attempt to put her hand to to cover up...and there are I'll bet a whole bunch of people interested in becoming a tape trader of TNA shows...and a bunch more wondering if it is going to be on the TNA's 50 greatest moment's DVD.
  
  
• The perfect man for Gail: Must have a good sense of humor, you can be a nerd or whatever but if you can make her laugh she loves that. So if I ever meet Gail I should read her some of the emails I sent to the Ric & Steve...er...Karl show, or tell her a knock knock joke.
  
  
• When her career is over: She wants her fans to know how much she loves them and is grateful for their support. She also wants them to remember her as a wrestler (I will always remember this DVD) and hopefully as someone who has had some of the best Women's matches.
  
  
• We get highlights of Gail's first acting role in a movie. She plays an assassin and says its her dream role. This lends credence to my theory that her parents let her kill for sport as a child. That also reminds me of when I was in fifth grade and someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said Hit man. That resulted in an all-expenses paid trip to the guidance counselor's office.
  
  
• Highlights of her photo shoot for this DVD.

At this point, I feel like I need to save myself from some trouble should this be read by well, any woman in general but Jessica in particular. The above was done in Kayfabe. I didn't really blackout for 40 minutes during the Gail Kim segment and her saying that she likes to walk around naked was not "The great feeling I had all time all my life". The story about my physics lab partner and my telling someone I wanted to be a Hit man are both true however. Although I would like to also say that if I ever did meet Gail I might tell her a knock knock joke just to see what happens. Either that or tell her the following joke:

So this guy walks in to a bar and says, ouch.

The next Knockout is: Jackie Gayda

• She talks about the difference between dressing around the house and dressing for work. Apparently, when not working she's all about the sweatpants and what I like to call lazy clothes.
  
  I'd also like to point out that she's speaking about 6 billion words a minute here and the only reason I can understand her is from all of those debate rounds against fast talkers. This proves that debate is more useful than algebra.
  
  
• She talks about being given the opportunity to pose for Playboy. She says it can launch a career, help a career, hurt a career or end a career...hmmm, seems to have all the bases covered...she turned it down because he still has other things she wants to do. She talks about broadcast journalism, which reminds me of Bobby the Brain Heenan which I don't think is the point of this DVD. She said maybe she'd do it if they offered it to her again in a few years.
  
  
• She talks about how she's the biggest Tomboy in the world, I must express my doubts about this. She mentions something called "Tough Enough" sounds familiar but I don't remember from where.
  
  OCC Note: Even if you take away the cooking naked comments, I still find Gail to be way more interesting than Jackie.
  
  
• She talks about her fondness for Jack Daniels in the past...now that's what we needed to spice this up, raging alcoholism. She says everyone needs to experience there demons. This is most definitely true, I remember when I was going through my addiction to Snickers bars...it was a rough 2 or 3 minutes there, almost didn't think I'd see it through to the other side but I overcame that demon.
  
  
• She'd like to thank the fans for their support. Her quote "All the way back from when you know, now to TNA", and she says never give up because people will tell you no no no no no whether its flipping burgers at McDonald's or becoming an Astronaut one day. Just keep trying because you're going to be stopped more times than you are going to get the opportunity but there is no ceiling.
  
  I tried to quote her directly I really did but I got lost somewhere in the middle. All I know is that I want to hire her as a motivational speaker. Now all I need is a group of people who need to be motivated to be confused more. Actually, she may also work to get people to listen better. You have to listen to this interview and who ever comes the closest to figuring out what she said could win money.
  
  
• She's an Ohio girl born and raised. That explains part of it.
  
• Her dad works at NASA and her mom works for an insurance company.
  
  Side note, I tried 2 times to listen to what she said her dad does at NASA and I think she invented a new word. I am all of a sudden quite thankful she doesn't work at NASA, think of all the difficulty the Astronauts would have understanding her instructions from mission control? She might accidentally cause them to break the sun or something.
  
  
• She is the oldest of 4, she has a sister that goes to North Western (the college) I guess she tells us her sister goes to North Western the college because she doesn't want us thinking her sister goes to North Western the direction cause that'd be silly. She's also got 2 brothers (a senior in high school and a sophomore)
  
  
• She says she played every sport under the sun accept soccer. See there soccer fans, you now have all the proof you need that your excuse to riot isn't an actual sport, cause Jackie didn't play it.
  
  On another note, she listed off T-ball and Baseball and fast-pitch and when she said "fast-pitch" it sounded like "ass-bitch" and I immediately wanted the world ass-bitch league to get a slot on ESPN.
  
  I changed my mind, the way Jackie talks I want this interview to last for ever. I've always been called a good listener and this interview has blown that theory all to hell.
  
  
• She says her true love was running, and that people think she's crazy for all of that running. I personally don't think she's crazy, just really hard to understand. Perhaps that's a little side affect of that match she had with her demon Jack Daniels?
  
  
• She said that she had an A & B average for grades. With the state of the education system today, this does not shock me in any way. I also had an A & B average and look how good that has worked out for me?
  
  
• She was a fan of wrestling as a kid, shared that with her dad, her mom is hardly enthusiastic.
  
  
• She talks about being fired from WWE after she got married and how TNA is a blessing. She felt lost and didn't know what she was going to do next when TNA came calling.
  
  
• She feels like she's a part of something in TNA. Yes, I remember all of those great angles she did before she was taken off TV due to her pregnancy.
  
  
• She says the squeaky wheel always gets the Greece. She says you can be a yes mam, yes sir type person and it will and then she paused and said almost always get you diddly-squat. I think Gerald Briscoe would have to disagree with her on that, unless Vince McMahon told him to agree with her.
  
  
• The high point of her life is being married to Charlie Haas.
  
  My conclusion on Jackie is that she could make the same point with many fewer words and unlike with Gail I'm not kidding this time. She said a lot of words so many in fact that by the time she finished a sentence I had forgotten the beginning of it.
  
  
• Now we get the highlights of her photo shoot which is a relief because I don't have to try and figure out what she's talking about as she's not speaking. On another note, to find the music playing during this segment did TNA go to the nearest elevator?

Knockout number 3 is: Traci Brooks

• Grew up in a small town in Ontario. She worked from the time she could walk, gathering eggs (Jackie would tell all the people who's dream it is to gather eggs that they should reach out for that dream and don't take no for an answer. I'd tell them to find a better dream).
  
  
• Her first photo shoot was actually with the TNA "Knockoots" yeah, she's Canadian alright. She was so scared. She talks about a waterfall being a part of her shoot and the pressure being the equivalent of holding up Samoa Joe. I've done neither so I'll take her word that the comparison is valid.
  
  
• She says she feels sexier when she's wet. That line is way too easy, so I'm not going to say anything.
  
  
• She talks about her outfits for the photo shoot and judging by the amount of pink and black she featured, its an homage to Bret Hart. As I said before, there is no doubt she's Canadian.
  
  
• Apparently, I've taken over Art's gimmick as I have another music comment. The music playing over Traci's highlights contains the phrase "I may be young, but not a fool" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. I can say with utmost confidence that whoever wrote that was not paid nearly enough.
  
  
• Traci is living her dream at a baseball game. She's looking for a ballplayer. Well, I'll give her this much if she wants to meet a baseball player then ta baseball game would be a good place to start. Although it is a minor league game, so if she wants a player with money she might need to leave Nashville and find the nearest Major League city which I believe would be Atlanta. Oh, she's at the AAA affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers in that case she should take my advice and leave, because she will probably be like any Brewers fan when a player is called up from AAA and in for a long night of disappointment.
  
  
• Oh, I see its funny cause you see she said "I'll play with the balls" and of course she's talking about baseball but she could also mean testicles....I'll stop typing long enough for you to laugh at the double meaning. . . . Ok, I'm back.
  
  
• There's comedy, there's high comedy and then there's the answer she got from the first player she asked the question: "single or married too" I swear the dude went uhhhhhhhh for like 5 seconds and then said single. Trust me, if you're not married it doesn't take you nearly that long to remember that you're not married. Ok this has to be scripted because she just asked him for his number and he gave her his jersey number.
  
  If this were not staged, a million thumbs up but because I think it is, 10 million thumbs down.
  
  
• See the second guy she asked the single or married question to, he didn't have to think about it for even a second before he said single. I feel like you need to know these things, I also feel as if you've read this fire, time is a thing you have an abundance of. But then, I shouldn't talk, I have been writing for this long...
  
  
• The third player was dumb enough to answer blonde's to the question do you prefer blonde's to brunettes...when it was a brunette asking the question.
  
  
• You know, I may be a little slow, but I think the whole point of this segment is to... ... ...make jokes that apply to both baseball and sex, like jokes about the size of a guy's wood. Like I said, I'm not always the quickest to pick up on things, but it seems like there's a good chance that's what's happening here.
  
  
• If I don't write anything for awhile its because I'm getting food...trust me, you haven't missed anything as the baseball segment drags on and on and on and on.
  
  
• That baseball segment was most definitely worse than Hulk Hogan.
  
  Thankfully the Traci segment is over. Just boring.

Forth Knockout is: Christy Hemme

• Born in California, her dad owns an insurance agency. She was a collections girl for her dad's company in 8th grade.
  
  
• She has a sister who is her best friend in the world and a brother that's 6 years younger than her. I feel that if the DVD feels I need to know this, then so do you.
  
  
• She's outgoing in front of a large crowd and shy in a small group. Then she should really be quieter at the iMPACT tapings.
  
  
• She was a self-described nerd but always wanted class to end. This sounds like a contradiction of terms to me. Besides what kind of nerd has a B & C average. A really inept nerd that's what kind.
  
  
• She was into dirt bikes when she was a kid. Her dad was into anything extreme, I'm guessing his insurance company was not the company that provided his insurance.
  
  
• Now she's talking about the Sturgis rally. Hey, you know what some company should do? They should hold a wrestling event at the rally, not charge admission, then have it on Pay Per View and watch as a sucky show results. I wonder why nobody's ever done that?
  
  
• She was a hooters girl and she did it on roller skates. I don't know what to do with this knowledge but I will use it to make money somehow.
  
  
• She watched wrestling as a kid with her girlfriend and her family. Those are her words, not mine. I'll stay here while your mind wanders.
  
  
• The wrestling business has changed her life. It tends to do that to people.
  
  
• Her dad told her when she told him about the wrestling thing that: "You are such a Hemme." I have to work that in to regular conversation if it kills me.
  
  
• Coming to TNA gave her a warm feeling inside because of the love everyone has for the company. She must not talk to Ron Killings or Monty Brown that often. Alternative theories for that warm feeling she got include heartburn.
  
  
• She hopes to grow with the company and hopes to meet us on the road sometime. I would much rather meet her at an arena or hotel as if we met on the side of the road that would just be weird or something.
  
  
• Now its time for the highlights of her photo shoot thingy.

As of right now this is how it looks to me:

1. Gail Kim: my new favorite woman wrestler ever.
   
2. Jackie: Hilarious, book her for public speeches whenever possible.
   
3. Traci: whatever.
   
4. Christy: She's just kind of there. I mean of the 4 so far we have the most knowledge of Christy going into this DVD and so there's less surprising info.

There's extras on this DVD including behind the scenes of the photo shoot, a match between Gail & Traci (here I thought they got a long so well...why do they have to fight? I must object to the violence in this industry, it turns friends into enemies) and there's other stuff.

My thoughts on the DVD, I'll probably watch the Jackie segment again just to try and figure out what the hell she said, Gail was the best personality even if you ignore what she said...and Traci was the least interesting that I saw.

I hope you've enjoyed the Live Blogging of my watching of this DVD. If you somehow learned anything about the contents of this DVD, that is not my fault.