OCC Special Project: A Day in the Life Part II
Yes, I finally finished the story. Its a quicky ending, but what are you going to do?
Click Here to Read Part 1
I’ll spare you all the details of getting to her office. I am sure by now that you have figured it out, it wasn’t an easy procedure. I will only reveal that it involved climbing several poles, a box which contained: Car keys, a tampon, 3 pieces of candy corn, a fishing pole, 2 spools of thread and a goat.
The meeting started off with Dixie Carter explaining to me the TNA drug tsting policy. Here is an actual made up description of how this played out.
Her: Do you want some heroine, crystal meth, weed or LSD?
Me: Yeah, I'll take all that stuff, plus some perscription pain pills if you've got them.
Her: Congratulations, you passed the drug test.
I wish I could tell you more about the meeting ut for legal reasons I can not. I can tell you that TNA is planning another world X cup for 2007 featuring Teams from Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus as it was discovered to be an easier task than working with those Mexican promoters again.
About half way through the meeting we got a preview of the new TNA video game from Midway games. The game looked good graphically, but why before playing this gae, all people need to undergo a sex change never was explained to me. I’m not really digging the new breasts I’ll tell you that.
The day was over and I went through another rapid-fire series of complicated procedures to get back to my house. I realized upon walking in to my apartment just the kind of thing that I was in for as long as I remained employed with this company. I decided that suicide was the best option, so I reached in my drawer for my handgun, checked to make sure it was loaded which it was. So I stuck the barrel in my mouth closed my teeth around it tightly so that there was no room for error. I braced myself for what I was sure would be a quick death, and I pulled the trigger. When the toilet flushed, I realized to my horror that not only was I not dead but that TNA had begun the process of bringing my apartment and worldly possessions up to company code.
Click Here to Read Part 1
I’ll spare you all the details of getting to her office. I am sure by now that you have figured it out, it wasn’t an easy procedure. I will only reveal that it involved climbing several poles, a box which contained: Car keys, a tampon, 3 pieces of candy corn, a fishing pole, 2 spools of thread and a goat.
The meeting started off with Dixie Carter explaining to me the TNA drug tsting policy. Here is an actual made up description of how this played out.
Her: Do you want some heroine, crystal meth, weed or LSD?
Me: Yeah, I'll take all that stuff, plus some perscription pain pills if you've got them.
Her: Congratulations, you passed the drug test.
I wish I could tell you more about the meeting ut for legal reasons I can not. I can tell you that TNA is planning another world X cup for 2007 featuring Teams from Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus as it was discovered to be an easier task than working with those Mexican promoters again.
About half way through the meeting we got a preview of the new TNA video game from Midway games. The game looked good graphically, but why before playing this gae, all people need to undergo a sex change never was explained to me. I’m not really digging the new breasts I’ll tell you that.
The day was over and I went through another rapid-fire series of complicated procedures to get back to my house. I realized upon walking in to my apartment just the kind of thing that I was in for as long as I remained employed with this company. I decided that suicide was the best option, so I reached in my drawer for my handgun, checked to make sure it was loaded which it was. So I stuck the barrel in my mouth closed my teeth around it tightly so that there was no room for error. I braced myself for what I was sure would be a quick death, and I pulled the trigger. When the toilet flushed, I realized to my horror that not only was I not dead but that TNA had begun the process of bringing my apartment and worldly possessions up to company code.
posted by Casey Trowbridge at 11/24/2006 07:32:00 PM
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