Full Text of this week's OCC.

Behind the cut is this week's OCC as heard on the Ric & Steve...er...Karl Show

Let me also say that while the new intro music is much appreciated, the official opinion of the Old Country Corner is that country music is not cool. If we were to pick a song we'd probably pick a Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr. which is also the song used by Matt Hughes.

That also reminds me that I aught to write up a mock history for the Old Country. Hmmm, perhaps that will be next week's corner subject?

Hey Karl:

I promised that not every email I sent you would be a gratuitous plug for my blog: oldcountrycorner.blogspot.com, and here’s me keeping my word.

A couple of weeks ago you and Ric did a profile on the Lord Humongous character. Well, this got the Old Country Caretaker thinking which is both never a
good thing and very rare, so we went back into the Old Country Archives and searched through singles of documents to find a character that had a similar
career path.

It should come as no surprise to you, that we found one.

So, I give you the history of the famous gimmick of Wimpus Maximus Minimum.

The character originally debuted in Ultimate Pro Youth Ohio University Reality Sports, known as UP YOURS Wrestling for short. He was ¼ of a wrestling stable
that was only known as that team we couldn’t think up a name for. He was a member of the group along with “flat on his back” Jay and a wrestler designed
to be a futuristic robot known as J.O.B.B.E.R. I said he was ¼ of the team but we’ve only got 3 wrestlers. This is because the promoter advertised 4 men
but was so cheap that he only hired 3. The other member was nicknamed the invisible man and still works today, commonly appearing disguised as an empty
seat at an ECW house show.

None of that is important to the story, just filling time. Did I mention that Wimpus Maximus Minimum was a masked wrestler? I didn’t, well he was and that
would be part of his exit from UP YOURS Wrestling.

You see, those in charge of UP YOURS Wrestling weren’t very smart. How dumb were they, even WCW didn’t hire them because of gross incompetence. Anyway one
night, a match was scheduled to take place between Minimum and another masked wrestler I.M. Uglay. However, the match would not take place as advertised
due to the fact that the promoters forgot that the same man played both characters. Even though the match never officially took place that didn’t stop
Kade Weller of the Pro Wrestling Star from giving the match six torches.

The character would bounce around to other territories in the United States including: “Fantastic American Grappling” out of San Francisco, the Future Unsanctioned
Central King’s Wrestling Promotion In Seattle Washington, and Big Intense Titanic Championship Hurting out of Little Rock Arkansas.

The character was never more than enhancement talent and I use the word talent loosely. His finisher was known as “All in a Day’s Work” and he did manage
to hit his finish in every match, unfortunately the move always resulted in his shoulders being pinned to the mat and the 3 count was a mere formality.

As time passed, the character finally was called overseas. It made its debut in the famous Japanese Company (Promotion Universal Spirit Success Yahoo~!)
Wrestling called “PUSSY Wrestling” for short. The rules in “PUSSY Wrestling” were a little different as losing was rewarded more than winning, losing matches
is how you earned titles and being beaten up every week earned you the support of the company’s fan base known as the “Pussy Patrol”.

So the biggest day of Wimpus Maximus Minimum’s career finally arrived. He was fighting for the title of “Top Pussy” after having lost 3,245 matches in a
row and becoming the company’s most over star. He would compete in a mask Vs. Hair match against the Native American Superstar Dances with Baldness. I
don’t have to tell you that the outcome was severely telegraphed in this match.

In the end Wimpus Maximus Minimum was victorious in defeat, losing the match and winning the title of “Top Pussy.”

He was unmasked for losing and proceeded to cut the following spirited promo.

“My big dream has been realized. I am now considered the world’s largest pussy. This means that I have accomplished all that I can in the ring. So now,
I must return to America to work on my new dream. I am going to start a website, so you can check me out on the web for I am Ric Gillespie of Canvas Chronicle.com!”

So there you have it the career of a man that will be known from this point forward as “top PUSSY” and the man who will always finish behind me in WWE Fantasy,
Ric Gillespie. Karl, I’m surprised that Ric never told you about his infamous wrestling career, but now that you know I don’t think you’re all that surprised.

Thanks to you both, and to Ric, when you brag about finishing first for a week of WWE Fantasy you might want to check and see that you didn’t actually finish
third. Then again claiming to win when you didn’t is one of the traits that make you “top PUSSY”

Take Care guys, thanks for the time, and thanks to Ric for being such a good sport and a PUSSY to boot.

This has been, Casey’s Old Country Corner.