Match-by-Match Coverage: TNA No Surrender 2006
We begin with the preshow.
Borash and Hemme run down the card. They toss it to Tenay who reads that statement off of TNA's website from earlier this week. Funny enough however, we didn't hear half of it due to an audio glitch.
Rhino Vs. Christian Cage video package. They were friends and stuff, but now they're not.
We're back with West and Tenay hyping up the card and they throw it to the back again.
Hemme and Borash are outside, they interview the guy that won the "I hate Jeff Jarrett" video contest.
No Surrender promo, triple Main Event. There's a triple something alright.
Wade and Scott would like the world to know that the woman they showed with Borash and Hemme was pretty hot.
Preshow match
Bobby Roode comes out to the ring, he's called the Hottest Free Agent in wrestling. If he says so.
Don West claims that they don't know anything about the announcement. I'm thinking its not just the announcement.
The fans are chanting lets go jobber. Roode's opponent got no introduction and still has not been named on commentary. If they can't bother to tell me who it is then I can't bother to care. Apparently, its Von Doring. Now that I know who it is, you'd be amazed how much more interested I am not in this match.
I've got to call Dominos, sure the match isn't over yet but:
Winner: Bobby Roode
Hey, I was right. He won with a move called the Payoff but as I was not in the room I didn't see it.
Recap of the Jackasses and Senshi feud.
Wade wants to spank Christy.
Here's Eric Young. Fans chant don't fire Eric as he is gathering troops for the movement.
The Tag Team Battle Royal is now featured. 2 teams are being profiled, Americas Most Wanted and the Naturals. If this surprises you, you obviously didn't read our preview
Wade just heard the rules for the battle royal. His head now has exploded. Funeral services will not be held because nobody cares.
10 minutes away from the PPV. It better be more exciting than the Preshow but then that's not going to be that hard actually.
Raven, Runt and Abyss highlight package. I'm glad to see this because I saw this feud develop and it still makes no sense to me at all. Its like Russo was already in charge.
Borash is back stage with Abyss and James Mitchell, as the pizza is on the way.
Scott's already yawning.
Ok, I take a lot of shots at TNA and deservidly so. However, James Mitchell rules the world and if you disagree, congratulations on being wrong.
Ultimate X package airs after Mitchell threatens bad intentions for Raven.
Borash says this is the 11th Ultimate X match and they've all been off the chart. He must not have seen all 11 because the shitty 5 minute match wasn't good and nor was the one for Bound for Glory where the X kept falling off. Oh, and the most recent 1 was alright but didn't live up to the hype of Joe on the cables.
Tenay and West hype the announcement. Good, the announcement wasn't hyped enough, it really needed more.
Jarrett Vs. Joe video package airs.
Its on to the show:
This is bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla.
If you think I'm transcribing the text used in this video package, then you need to read more of my stuff. You know there was a shot at the Iraq war and President Bush in the video package right after Konnan referenced the great American Lie there was footage of Bush declaring major combat opporations in Iraq were over.
The package is cool but not as cool as the fact that the pizza is here.
We are in the iMPACT Zone. We have pyro but not a lot. Ok, now they've let it go so I guess they've decided to play with fire again afterall. Oh, you knew it was coming.
First match according to Wade: Eric Vs. A-Young. I believe that is wrong.
Match 1: Eric Young Vs. a-1
A match happening at the same time as this is myself Vs. Pepperoni and Pineapple pizza. I expect that I will be victorious.
TNA has too damn much generic music, but for a-1 its ok because you don't get more generic than that.
Fans chant lets go stake sauce or a-1 stake sauce. They do the dueling punches thing and it screams and yells out minor league.
Fans chant "Fire a-1" how fickle are these people? I don't think these people should be chanting anything to do with fire after last month.
Well, a-1 just scored a 2 off of a powerslam. I hate some of these chants, but at least they are chanting something. The live crowd is definitely in to Eric Young and I give all the credit for that to Young himself. He does his gimmick so well.
Now the crowd chants Super-Eric but A-1 is having none of it.
Mike Tenay calls this a great way to kick off No Surrender. Well, I'll say this much they could've done worse. Why 3 Live Krew and Team Canada could still be around wrestling for the five billionth time, and that'd be a lot worse.
Eric Young scores a very near fall with a top-rope elbow drop. A-1 tries to cheat but the referee is momentarily paying attention.
Winner: Eric Young
More hype for the announcement. It will change the face of wrestling. So will TNA have to change their opening thing? Now you know where my priority lies.
Tenay and West do the annoying thing that they do every month, and before you ask which 1, its where they run down the card of the PPV that I'm already watching. Its too late for me to go, gee I change my mind I'm not ordering it.
Borash is backstage with Jim Cornette. Cornette promises a major announcement, thank god they're hyping this. Cornette is behind the announcement, so when it underwhelms the fans will blame him. A sign of Russo's handywork?
Match 2: Jay Lethal Vs. Petey Williams
Both have generic music. But again it fits because the X-division is generic.
Backstage with Lethal/Dutt/Sabin and Jerry Lynn is pissed because they're playing games.
Sabin says: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. He went from Jackass to Jerry Springer in 1 promo.
Dueling chants a minute in. This company can't take these shows on the road quick enough for me.
This match has a slow-pace to start which is actually fine with me. I don't need it to be high-spot tastic from the opening bell.
It would appear that Petey Williams pulled a Dookie Davinport. Russo must be back we've got shit jokes on the first show. Who had match 2 in the pool?
I can see Russo's mentality. We'll have jokes about number 2 in match number 2...ahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Yes, there was a laxative involved.
West and Tenay are pulling the time honored Heenan trick of complaining about the smell. Seriously, I already hate the Russo return. This may not even be his fault but if its not he didn't look at this and say no, that's stupid change it. If he didn't write it he approves.
Williams goes for the Destroyer but can't hit it.
Jay Lethal wins on a roll up.
See Ric my logic is not only cute, but logical.
I hated this if you couldn't tell.
Borash is backstage with Rhino who buries the medical profession. Dr.'s advised him not to wrestle this match, I advise you not to ever watch the last match. Rhino didn't listen to his Dr. I suggest you not follow in his footsteps and instead listen to me on this one.
Same video package they aired on the preshow for the 3-way match airs again. Note to TNA, I saw it once not but a half an hour ago, I don't need to see the same one again. Why not prepare more than 1 package if you want to show multiple ones?
Match 3: Raven Vs. Abyss Vs. Brother Runt
Tenay promises craziness. I promise jokes, lets see how it goes.
Abyss out first. Runt is out second. Raven is out last.
Scott says Brother Runt needs a Taxi Cab. Due to his ring gear's resemblance to Robert Deniro in Taxi Driver.
We start with Garbage can lids.
West says that we can't forget any of these guys. Wanna bet?
Kendo sticks and garbage cans are involved now.
Abyss tosses Runt up the entrance ramp off a press slam. Fortunately, Raven was there to break his fall. Break his fall, moe his grass, make him humble 'til he raspect Abyss.
West says we've seen everything but the Kitchen sink in this match. Well aside that we haven't seen the TNA staple of staple guns and thumbtacks the point is that Rusoo logic suggests that we will in fact see the kitchen sink.
Runt put the ring bell on Abyss' groine and then hits it with a Kendo Stick. It drew ooows and Ahhhhs from the crowd and the room.
Raven found a helmet, he may be the smartest man in the match. This is not meant as a compliment or that Raven is in line for induction in to Mensa.
Tenay: We're not going to have a count out we don't want to see something like that happen. But a DQ in a falls count anywhere match is just fucking fine!
Tenay claims that Abyss is trying to tear the building apart. I can confirm its not nearly as entertaining as New Japan Vs. House.
You can now add ladders to the equation as Abyss set one up with Raven on a table. Abyss climbs the ladder and the crowd is chanting holy shit.
Fuckheads, he hasn't done anything but climb. You people are banned from ever speaking again. Oh, and nothing came of it.
Runt fucked up a spot major league. He went for a double stomp on Abyss on a table but he miscalculated and barely caught him. Of course it didn't stop the morons from chanting holy shit again. If I killed all of these people would I be convicted or could I justify it.
Just what the world needs 2 tables stacked up now.Raven took time to hang brother Runt.
Me, who was hung?
Scott: bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Wade: So far I have 2 words to describe this match. "You fucked up"
Abyss with a blackhole slam pins Raven.
Abyss wins, but it will elevate him in exactly no ways.
Tenay: Raven did everything but win this match. No fuck.
Borash backstage with Jarrett: Borash compliments the outfit Jarrett is wearing. Jarrett says someone has to sell merchandise around here, nobody else does.
Sting is mentioned as the wrestler who will make the announcement. This means I don't think it will be him. Jarrett is more concerned with the who than the what.
Match 4: Triple Chance battle royal:
The rules:
- 8 teams all wrestlers in the ring at once.
- When you are eliminated, you wait at ringside.
- When your partner is eliminated, you head to the back.
- When the battle royal comes down to 2 wrestlers, their partners rejoin the match and make it standard tag.
- Do not collect $200 for passing go, and no using the get out of jail free card.
- If you are Razor Ramon HG then you rule.
The teams by order of their introductions:
- Americas Most Wanted with Gail "My favorite naked chef" Kim
- The Naturals w/Shane Douglas
- The Paparazzi Alex Shelley and Johnny Devine
- Shark Boy and Norman Smiley
- Kazarian and Maverick Matt
- Lance Hoyt and Ron the Truth Killings (Tenay likes this team, he's just being kind)
- Diamonds in the Rough with Simon Diamond
- The James Gang
Nothing drives up the workrate like a battle royal. AMW is reluctant to get in to the middle of the action.
West is giving his battle royal strategy. Stay in the middle of the ring and do whatever you can to avoid being tossed over the top rope. Sounds like a winner to me.
Wade is providing me Gail Kim play-by-play. I don't care what she does at ringside unless she starts doing it naked, and when Scott reads this, I did say "doing it naked".
- Norman Smiley is first eliminated.
- Elix Skipper is the second man out.
- Lance Hoyt eliminated by Kazarian and Bentley
- Johnny Devine out via the Truth
- Shark Boy is out (Norman and Sharky are the first team gone, what do you mean you're shocked?)
- Chase Stevens was tossed into the crowd by James Storm.
- Matt Bentley was eliminated.
- David Young is out (Diamonds are the second team gone)
- Ron Killings eliminated by Alex Shelley (Hoyt/Killings are out)
- B.G. James was also eliminated by Shelley.
- Kazarian eliminated (Bentley and Kazarian are gone)
- Shelley eliminated next (Paparazzi gone)
Its down to Kip James, AMW and Andy Douglas.
- James Storm next eliminated.
There's a fight on the ramp apparently
- Chris Harris was eliminated by the ref missed it.
- Kip James was eliminated by Harris (James Gang out)
Americas Most Wanted and the Naturals in the tag match, yeah I know, nobody predicted that one
Extended heat segment on Andy Douglas by AMW as they keep Stevens out of the ring. If you can't see the ending coming then you should just stop watching wrestling now.
James Gang come to the aid of the Naturals preventing a death sentence.
Winners: The Naturals with a roll-up by Stevens.
That's pretty anticlimactic and it had no crowd heat. Of course the Orlando crowd has only seen this match 6 million times.
The Naturals celebrate the win with Shane Douglas.
Now we have the same Sabin/Senshi package from earlier. The X-division title is up next.
Match 5: Senshi Vs. Chris Sabin
I'm with Euan I hope Senshi wins by kicking Sabin in the face.
West: Senshi can kick you from anywhere in the world it seems like. Wandering Senshi's fu-tube extravaganza? Na, its been done.
Senshi blocks a suplex with a knee to the head, I approve. Senshi gets a 2 count off of a knife edge chop. Dueling chops now and like 2 people are saying "Whooow" there is 0 heat for this show in my opinion.
This is probably match of the night so far, but that's not saying a whole lot. More dueling chops and kicks.
Sabin was going for a suicide dive but Senshi counters with a kick to the head. He probably saw Euan's preview.
Senshi draws a holy shit chant with a doublestomp to the back. It was in all fairness a light chant.
Now we have dueling Senshi and Sabin chants. The crowd is waking up for the first time since probably the three way. I don't blame them though as that battle royal would've put me to sleep if not for the fact I'm live blogging.
Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a springboard dropkick get to for Senshi.
Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick after fighting off a superplex and scores a nearfall.
Here come Sonjay and Lethal because a good match needs a run-in. The distraction works to give Sabin the advantage.
Crowd chants "This is stupid!" I take back everything bad I said earlier. That was stupid and I hope TNA was listening. I bet they weren't.
Senshi scores the pin using the ropes, he should've kicked him in the face again first.
Nice long match with some stupidity at the end but easily the best of the show.
Borash interviews Christian. Sting is mentioned again, this leads me to believe it is someone else. A nice strong promo from Christian. He claimed that Sting would try and take credit for No Surrender being a great show. If I were Sting I would not. He did actually talk about his match with Rhino in there as well.
Rhino and Christian video package airs.
Match 6: Rhino Vs. Christian Cage
Tenay and West put over the against Dr.'s orders thing in regards to Rhino wrestling. This would be as a result of the beating Christian gave him on iMPACT recently. A light CLB chant for Christian early.
Rhino goes for an early Gore, Gore, Gore from Rhino but Christian avoids. Christian went for the Unprettier even earlier but he to had no success.
Rhino backdrops Christian out to the floor. Crowd firmly behind Rhino at this point.
Don West's voice is coming over my TV louder than usual. This is not what I would consider a good thing.
They have been fighting all over the iMPACTzone and Christian uses an implant DDT on the ramp.
Tenay calls the ramp unforgiving, perhaps it needs therapy. Perhaps it and the magic hateball can go together?
My dog is active, the crowd is doing the dueling chants again. I have given them a grace period because of the "this is stupid" chant in the last match but it won't last forever. Apparently, there is more interest in what I am writing than what is happening in the ring, at least in this room.
Christian scores a nearfall with a missile dropkick. Christian connects with a frogsplash to score another near fall a few seconds later.
Rhino would make a comeback and score a nearfall of his own with a belly-to-belly suplex. Cage goes for the unprettier but Rhino has none of it and connects on a spinebuster.
He's setting up for the gore, but Christian hit him in the head.
Christian hit the Unprettier but Rhino kicked out before the 3-count. Christian beefs with Andrew Thomas about the count.
Ref bump!
Christian has the 2 chairs looking for the Con-chair-to but Rhino got out.
West: I can't bare to see this but I can't turn away. You my friend, are screwed.
Rhino with a gore but there is no ref. Ref took the chair, Unprettier on the chair, and the pin is accademic.
Winner: Christian Cage with an unprettier on a chair.
It was a decent match but I don't pay $30 to see decent. Probably not as good as Senshi/Sabin but better than everything else on the show.
Borash is in the back as a car pulls up. Eric Young thinks it is Sting but it is LAX. Konnan said that Daniels/AJ better hope for a fire like at the next TNA PPV. Konnan predicting the future.
Back to the announcers. Ultimate X is up next. I had thought this was going to close the show.
Match 7: LAX w/Konnan Vs. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels - NWA World Tag Team Titles - Ultimate X
(I have gotten no adsense revenue today, please click a google add if you enjoy this coverage, hell do it if you don't think of it as a bribe to get me to go away)
Styles and Daniels, well mostly Daniels cuts a promo on Konnan and LAX. Daniels says Konnan could be any minority and he'd still be an asshole.
Ok, this is the match I was looking forward to the most by far. This can make or break the PPV for me.
Here come LAX with the Spanish intro, 2 thumbs up for that.
Tenay says that the offices have been flooded with emails after the beating from LAX on iMPACT. I say they need better spam blockers.
We get UFC style intro which I am all fine with though the LAX one still should've been in spanish.
I'll probably do less writing in this match than any other as I want to watch it.
A ladder comes into play I thought that was illegal in this match? But hey if TNA can't be bothered to care, neither can I.
Hernandez attempted to scale the cables but AJ brought him down.
Aj Styles hits the Styles Clash on Homicide through a table but is nailed by Konnan with the slapjack.
The crowd chants please don't die as Daniels jumps across the cables to grab the belts.
Winners: AJ Styles and Chris Daniels (Ric was right, and that's a scary world to live in)
This was the best match of the show to this point but I don't think it was blow-away get the replay awesome.
Match : Fans revenge - Samoa Joe Vs. Jeff Jarrett
Funny bit with Young and Jarret regarding finding Sting.
Jarrett: Did you check the rafters?
Young: Do you think he'd be up there? I laughed, so so me.
The fact Jarrett is more worried about Sting than Joe doesn't make Joe look weak in the slightest. No, not at all.
You know for as much as this crowd really doesn't like Jarrett and for as much as they like Joe I expected the crowd to be louder.
Jarrett is strapping Joe. Joe is probably thinking, thanks a lot Cornette!
Now the crowd is getting into it a little more. A light "fuck you Jarrett" chant as Joe is in trouble.
Jarrett springs off the rope but to avoid the contact Joe just walks away. I love it when he does that.
I'll give Jarrett credit these fans are strapping him hard. Jarrett went for the guitar but Joe had none of it. Jarrett strokes Joe on the guitar for a nearfall.
Joe hits the musclebuster. 1...2...3!
winner: Samoa Joe via Musclebuster.
Major Announcement time:
Jim Cornette is out with a mic.
TNA goes primetime on Thursday Nov. 16 at 8:00 PM.
But there is more:
Its Kurt Angle! and he's coming to TNA!
Labels: No Surrender, No Surrender 2006, Pay Per View Coverage, TNA
posted by Casey Trowbridge at 9/24/2006 06:38:00 PM
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