The lowdown from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum:
- Some DJ (he repeated his name, but I don't give a fuck) introduced Dennis Rodman, who (besides being desperate for publicity) went through all the trouble of passing a flame to Choi-Mu Bae, who then passed it to Hong-Man Choi, to light the Olympic torch. All-4-One (I thought they were dead) sang someone's national anthem, then another guy blew (he sucked, too) into a trumpet (or oboe, or some shit), while people danced and jumped. The DJ said the fight between Brad Pickett and Hideo Tokoro (which I thought was supposed to be a dark match) was "time restricted" (whatever that means). I think he was saying it's a swing bout, but maybe not. We then had to sit through (some, not all) fighter introductions. Royce (the DJ mispronounced his first name) Gracie got the biggest pop, although Kazushi Sakuraba's and Brock Lesnar's were up there. Rodman, who had to scramble for a mic, wasn't immediately popular, although he did manage to turn the crowd, by saying this wasn't about him, but about the fighters. Glad to see the (same) timing problems carry over to the pay-per-view. This all went on for more than twenty-minutes. Hey, they've got three-hours to fill, people.
- Still couldn't guess how many are in the building, but it's more than I saw on Showtime). Ranallo was a big help, though, narrowing it down to "huge."
- Quinton Jackson (fitting, with all of the talk about the UFC) was in the house.
- Bernard Ackah (a standup comedian, who definitely made me laugh) defeated (KO @ 0:38 - 1 rd.) Johnnie Morton. Before I get to the details, in his pre-fight interview, Morton said he thought football was more dangerous than MMA. He's entitled to his opinion, of course (even though it's wrong), but was there any real reason to include that sentiment on this pay-per-view? Now, with that out of the way, Morton definitely didn't lack aggression, and he can definitely hit (he even knocked out one of Ackah's tracks) but was not prepared for Ackah's right hand, which ended the fight. I'm glad Morton lost, because he seemed too arrogant for my taste. Even better, Morton left the ring on a stretcher. How many times did that happen in his NFL career? For the record, Morton's going to be just fine. Goldberg seemed way too defensive in explaining how this didn't prove mixed-martial-artists were tougher than football players. Whatever, football-playing pussy.
- Nicholas Cage was in the house. So?
- Tracey Ullman was also in the house. I would never do such a thing, but Goldberg made sure to insult the really ugly person sitting next to her.
- Dong-Sik Yoon supposedly placed too much tape on his ankles, so his fight (with Melvin Manhoef) was postponed. In its place, Mighty Mo defeated (TKO @ 1:33 - 1 rd.) Ruben Villareal (who was basically billed as a jobber). Villareal took a huge left, went for a desperation takedown, and was finished with more strikes. One (or more) of those shots really did a number on Villareal's left eye. Give Villareal credit, but I guarantee more notice wouldn't have changed the outcome for him.
- Keyshawn Johnson was in the house.
- Yoon defeated (armbar submission @ 1:17 - 2 rd.) Manhoef. Yoon didn't receive much-better billing than Villareal, and while he probably didn't deserve it, what did that tell the casual fan about K-1's matchmaking? Well, it told them you can't judge a book by its cover, because Yoon suffered a closed right eye, but ended up (in my opinion) capturing the first round (nearly securing an armbar), then finishing it in the second. For the first time since 10 PM ET, a fight went longer than five-minutes, and the crowd really came alive, as if this was a major-league event. I popped for the finish, because I (along with the rest of the world) never, never, never saw this coming. This, to me, was the sport's biggest upset and feel-good moment of 2007! If they fail to properly play this up, everyone affiliated with K-1 should kill themselves.
- Rosie Perez was in the house.
- Swing bout: Hideo Tokoro defeated (armbar submission @ 2:41 - 1 rd.) Brad Pickett. As expected, Pickett was mighty aggressive, but also overmatched on the ground. Still, the kid is one of my faves, as is Tokoro. Yoshiki, billed as Japan's biggest rock-star, presented Tokoro's trophy. Goldberg, unlike me, also felt it necessary to take a shot at Yoshiki, that big, ugly goof.
- Some people pounded on big drums, then we had to sit through most of a third-rate rap version of a second-rate 'Doors' song. Three-hours, people.
- Kazushi Sakuraba defeated (unanimous decision: 30-27, 29-28, 29-28 - 15:00) Royce Gracie. When they weren't talking about how Saku should hang up the gloves, they at least did a good job of building up the history, and how important these guys (if not this fight) were to the sport. Not a lot of action, or the kind American audiences love, so the audience voiced their displeasure (which was acknowledged as perturbing by the announcers). In the third round, Sakuraba was almost motionless, until about the final forty-seconds, when being separated by the ref. Saku nearly had an armbar, but it was way, way too late into the round and fight. Tough to score, as neither did much, but I barely gave Gracie (who sure seemed happy with his performance) the second and third rounds.
- Brock Lesnar (getting post and pre-match fireworks) defeated (TKO @ 1:09 1 rd.) Min-Soo Kim. Immediate takedown, mount, punches, tap. As you all know, I ain't Bob's biggest fan, but he's for real, history's truly been made, and this one performance sent a message to all of MMA's top promotions. He's a free agent and he's a fucking beast! In his post-fight interview, he basically said he'll go where the money is, and I don't blame him.
Well, if you like finishes, this was the show for you. If you enjoy fights with a purpose, watching big-name fighters, or a lack of endless, time-killing processions, this may not have been your cup of tea. Either way, I've got two words for ya: Brock Lesnar!Labels: Canvas Chronicle, Dynamite USA, EXC, Hero's, K-1, Mixed Martial Arts, Pay Per View Coverage
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